


Váli

by 50251sid, cool_cbear_g



Category: The Borgias, The Borgias (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal Death, Awkward Sexual Situations, Brother-Sister Relationships, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, F/M, Fraternity Brothers, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Innocence, Loss of Innocence, Non-Graphic Violence, Overprotective, Pregnant Sex, Rape Aftermath, Revenge, Sexual Experimentation, Sibling Incest, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:59:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6818377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50251sid/pseuds/50251sid, https://archiveofourown.org/users/cool_cbear_g/pseuds/cool_cbear_g
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cesare vows revenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Idhunna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idhunna is a Norse goddess of youth and springtime, known to be naive and trusting.

Rodrigo Borgia fretted.

“Your sister is just a child,” he barked at his son Cesare.  “I don’t think it’s a good idea at all for you to take her to University with you this weekend.”

“Come on, Dad.  I made a special trip to come home and get her.  I’m just going to show her around campus.  Let her see the Borgia family Alma Mater.  You expect her to go there, don’t you?”

“Of course, but why does she have to see it now?  She’s doesn’t graduate high school for another two years.  Vannozza, you agree with me, don’t you?  Lucrezia isn’t ready to be exposed to such an environment.”

His wife sighed. “Rodrigo, if you keep cloistering our daughter as you do, she’ll never be ready for anything.  I’m surprised you let her cross the street by herself.  She’s sixteen years old, yet you don’t allow her to date, don’t permit her to even go out with a church group.  Cesare or I drive her everywhere.  If you won’t give her even a little bit of freedom, she isn’t going to know how to act on her own.”

“She doesn’t need to be on her own, Vannozza,” Rodrigo huffed in reply.  “She needs to be looked after.  Protected.”

“May I remind you, then, that if she attends your Alma Mater, she will be hundreds of miles away, in another state.  How will you protect her then?”

Rodrigo sputtered.

“Cesare will be there with her.  They can take an apartment together.  Don’t question me, Vannozza.  I know what I’m talking about.  I know how men are, and I’ll not have my daughter placed in jeopardy.”

“Dad,” Cesare interjected. “You’ve always trusted me to take care of my sister, and I’ve never let you down, have I?  I’ll watch her like a hawk this weekend.  Never let her out of my sight.  She’ll be fine.  My word of honor.”

 

The Borgia home sat upon an acre of property with a large, fenced back yard where Lucrezia was currently kneeling, tending her flowers.  Wearing a broad-brimmed straw hat and cotton gloves to shield her fragile ivory skin from the sun, she was carefully setting plants, which she had just bought at the greenhouse, into the ground.  Her face was flushed with pleasure as she brought a flower to her nose to inhale its fragrance.  Cesare stepped outside, smiling to himself, delighting in the charming display.

“You like to care for living things, don‘t you, Sis?  Plants, pets, babies.”

Startled by her brother’s voice, she looked up and rocked back on her heels, curving her rosy lips into the smile she saved only for him.  He strolled over and knelt beside her.

“What did Dad say?” she blurted eagerly.  “Will he let me go with you?”

“Well,” Cesare began, drawing out his words with excruciating slowness.  “Well, Dad was really, really, really…”

“What?  Tell me!”

“Well, he was stubborn.  Really, really, really stubborn.  No matter what Mom and I argued, he was…stubborn.  Really stubborn.  And he…”

Lucrezia shrieked with impatience and flung her gardening glove at her brother.

“Can I go?  Can I?”

“Yes!  Dad said you can go with me.”

“Hurray!”

Cesare reached for a plant. 

“Show me what to do with this.”

“Well, you dig a hole and…”

“I know that, but how big a hole?  Do you add fertilizer?  Do you leave the plant in the pot it came in or shake it out of it?”

“You aren’t really interested, Cesare.”

“I care about what interests you, Sis.”

She leaned forward impulsively and lightly kissed his lips.  Her dog, Edsel, who had been lying quietly at her side, jumped up then and pushed between the two siblings, barking anxiously.

“Edsel!”  Lucrezia gently rebuked the dog.  “Lie down.  It’s all right.”

A medium-sized canine of indeterminate age and lineage, Edsel had been Lucrezia’s shadow ever since she had brought him home from a shelter where he had languished, dejected and listless, two years before.  He had black fur with white markings and a long, feathered tail which Lucrezia kept well-brushed and shining.  That tail wagged continuously in her presence.  He always lay next to her living room chair, slept with her at night and sat at the window, watching for her return when she left for school. 

“Your goddam dog hates me,” Cesare grumbled.

“No he doesn’t.  He’s just protective of me.”

“Edsel and Dad.  Two of a kind.”  _And me too._

 

Vannozza Borgia gazed out of the kitchen window, regarding her children.  How close they were!  Cesare, tall and rangy with beautiful, cascading dark hair, stood in contrast to his sister, who was blonde and delicate and tiny, barely coming up to his shoulder.

Vannozza smiled to herself. _‘He probably wouldn’t allow her to grow any bigger_ ,’ she thought.  _‘Lucrezia must remain his baby sister forever.’_

 

She had been anxious when Lucrezia was born, that Cesare would be jealous, having been for five years the one and only, pampered, petted, made much over.  When Rodrigo brought him to the hospital to see his mother and new baby sister, he had pressed his nose up against the nursery window and stared at the tiny infant with her knitted pink cap, lying swaddled in her bassinette.

“My baby.  Mine,” he declared.

“Ours, Cesare,” his father had gently corrected.

“No.”  His chin lifted obstinately.  “Mine.”

 

He had demanded that Lucrezia’s crib be placed in his room.

“She’ll cry and wake you up,” Vannozza had protested.  “And you can’t feed her yourself.”

“Then I’ll bring her to you, Mommy.  If she needs anything, I want to know.”

Certain that her son would soon grow tired of being awakened during the night, Vannozza tentatively allowed the baby to sleep in his room.  Night after night, Cesare carried his sister to his mother’s bed.

“She’s hungry, Mommy.  But I changed her, so she’s not wet, at least.”

“You changed her?”

Lucrezia wore a fresh disposable diaper, its adhesive tabs perfectly placed and fastened.

“You did such a good job, Cesare.  I’ll take Lucrezia now.”

The boy insisted upon sitting next to his mother while she nursed the infant.  Vannozza circled her arm around him and drew him close. 

“You’re a wonderful big brother.  So attentive.  But you’re still just a child yourself.  You need your sleep.  Your teacher tells me that you seem tired in class lately.  I worry about that.  It’s time for us to move Lucrezia out of your room.”

Cesare gasped in horror.

“No, Mommy.  Don’t do that.  I’ll sleep more.  I’ll come home and take a nap after school.  Don’t take her away from me.  Don’t!”

Rodrigo stirred beside his wife, irritated at being awakened by his son’s high-pitched voice.

“What the hell…?”

“Dad,” Cesare blurted. “Mommy’s going to take Lucrezia away from me.  Don’t let her.”

“Vannozza, for Christ’s sake,” Rodrigo mumbled blearily. “Give him what he wants and let me go back to sleep.”

Triumphantly, Cesare climbed down from the bed and took Lucrezia into his arms.

“I’ll burp her, Mommy,” he called over his shoulder as he carried the baby to his own room.

Smiling at her as he placed her into her crib and covered her warmly, he whispered to her, “I’ll always take care of you, my baby.”

The next day, he came home from school and toted Lucrezia up to their room.

“We have to take a nap now, Sister,” he told her as he removed her shoes and laid her in her crib.  He drew a light blanket over her and then took to his own bed.  Through the slats in her crib, Lucrezia regarded him solemnly, then popped her thumb into her mouth and drifted off to sleep.  Satisfied that his baby was slumbering, Cesare closed his own eyes.

 

Vannozza, at the kitchen window, watched her son and daughter kiss and felt her stomach squirm.  Those two!  She should probably be grateful that her children got along as well as they did, compared to most of her friends’ offspring, who fought continually and seemed to loathe each other.  But there was something not quite right about their affection.  Siblings kissing each other on the mouth?  And yet, they appeared to be so innocent, so guileless.  Surely their affectionate kisses were just that:  affectionate. 

 

“Do you still want me to help you clean your fish tank, Sis?”

“Yes, I do, Cesare.  As soon as I’m done with my plants.”

“How long have you had that goldfish, anyway?”

“You won Fishy for me six years ago at a carnival where Mom and Dad took us.  I was so proud of you, and so excited.”

“Yeah, now I remember.  You insisted that we stop at the pet store on the way home and buy about a million bucks worth of stuff for a fish that Dad was sure would be dead the next day.  Yet he’s still alive and the size of a tuna.”

“He’s so cute, Cesare.  Whenever I go by his tank, he bumps up against the side, thinking I’m going to feed him.  I can even hear him banging on the glass.”

“You overfeed that fish.  No wonder he’s so big.”

“If I overfed him, he’d have been dead long ago.  But I don’t want to argue with you.  Tell me about this weekend.  What should I pack?  What will we be doing?”

“Well, tomorrow we’ll drive up and settle into my frat house room as soon as we arrive.  There will be a big party that night, so you might want to have a nap before it starts.  Then the next day, I’ll show you all around campus.  Since it’ll be a Saturday, not very many of the instructors will be available for you to meet, but you can see the classrooms and the grounds.  On Sunday, we’ll go into town for a visit and then drive home.  Just pack comfortable clothes.  Nothing fancy.  Good walking shoes.”

“Oh, Cesare!”  With a soft coo, Lucrezia reached out and offered her finger to a ladybug that had landed on her brother’s shoulder.  The tiny insect crawled onto her hand and remained there as she drew it close to her bosom.  “Look how sweet it is.  Isn’t it the dearest little bug?”

“It’s a bug, Sis.  Just a bug.  But if it pleases you…”

Her lashes lowered, her countenance glowing with pleasure, she smiled as she regarded the beetle for a moment and then raised her hand to allow it to fly away.

Charmed, Cesare caressed her cheek.

“You’re a dear, sweet little creature yourself.”

Within his heart, he renewed his silent vow to her.  _I’ll always take care of you, my baby._

 

Cesare stowed Lucrezia’s suitcase into the trunk of his BMW while she excitedly kissed her parents goodbye.

“Stay with your brother, sweetheart,” Rodrigo admonished her. “Don’t go anywhere without him.”

“I won’t, Daddy.  I promise.”

“Have fun, darling,” Vannozza said. “Learn all you can about the university.”

“I will, Mom.  I promise.”

 

Lucrezia chattered nearly nonstop for the three and a half hour trip.  Cesare smiled indulgently while she rambled on. 

“Is it a fun school?  Does your fraternity have lots of parties?  How easy is it for boys and girls to meet on campus?”

“Whoa, Sis!  Aren’t you the least bit interested in the academic aspects?”

“Oh, sure.  How much work do you usually have to do for your classes?  Are the professors tough with their grades?”

 

When they arrived, the brother and sister dropped Lucrezia’s gear in his room at his fraternity house and went for a stroll to stretch their legs after the long drive.

 

Founded in 1794, the university had educated many generations of Borgias.  The school buildings were imposing and solid, and the grounds were graced by noble old oak trees, which added to the air of dignity and stateliness of the campus.

 

Hanging onto her brother’s arm, Lucrezia swiveled her head left and right, trying to take in everything at once. 

“Wow, Chez, everything looks so stuffy.  So uptight.  It can’t be any fun for you here.”

“I’m not looking for fun, Little Sister.  I’m preparing for the world.  For my life.  Same as you will.”

Lucrezia sighed.

“Of course,” Cesare continued, his eyes twinkling, “That doesn’t mean that we can’t get a little crazy from time to time.  As I told you, there’s a party being held tonight at the frat house.  It should be fun, but I want you to stay close to me the whole time.  The frat brothers are good guys, for the most part, but when they get to drinking, some of them get crazy.  I don’t want them getting crazy with you.  You understand?”

Lucrezia sighed. 

“Yes, Big Brother.  I will stick to you like a burr.”

 

Sheltered as she had been all her life, Lucrezia was dazzled by what seemed to her a bacchanalia going on all around her:  blaring rock music, frenetic dancing, copious alcohol consumption, pot smoking, couples making out in seemingly every corner, on every chair and sofa. 

The sight of a new female, a petite and very pretty blonde one, caused many of the fraternity brothers to snap to attention.  Cesare circled his arm around his sister and pulled her close to him.  His commanding height and forbidding glare were sufficient to discourage all but the most obtuse young men from lurching over drunkenly to introduce themselves to Lucrezia, and these ignorant few he bluntly told to stay the fuck away from his sister.

“Can’t I even _talk_ to your fraternity brothers?” Lucrezia frowned, and Cesare replied, “Hell, no!”

He settled her down onto a chair and, without taking his eyes away from her, fetched her a cold drink from a table where cups had been set out.

“What is this?” she asked, sniffing the glass.

“Cola.  I think.  Let me taste it,” he replied, taking it from her.

Satisfied that it was a nonalcoholic beverage, he handed it back and allowed her to drink it.

After awhile, Cesare excused himself to go to the bathroom and was enraged to find, upon his return, that a partygoer had perched himself upon the arm of Lucrezia’s chair and was happily chatting her up.  Yanking the boy by his shirt collar, he viciously hissed at him, “Did you think I was bullshitting when I told you to stay away from my sister?”

“Cesare, don’t,” Lucrezia cried, grabbing at her brother’s arm in a futile attempt to make him let go of the would-be suitor.  “He was just talking to me.  That’s all.”

Cesare gave the young man a hard shove and sent him packing.

“I told you I didn’t want you talking to any of these guys, Baby.”

“But why?  What harm could come of…”

“Harm?  You have no idea.  Trust me, Sis.  I know what’s best for you.”

“But he was being so nice.  He brought me a fresh drink and…”

“He _what_?  That son of a bitch?  Where is it?  The drink?”

“Gone.  I was thirsty and I drank it all.”

Fuming, Cesare stalked over to where the young man with whom she had been speaking was standing, among a group of friends.  Lucrezia could see her brother’s mouth moving furiously, and the rattled boy pointing a quivering finger at the drink table.  Apparently satisfied, Cesare returned to Lucrezia and sat down on the arm of the chair recently vacated by the young man whom he had just terrified.

“Don’t ever,” he snapped at her, “And I do mean _ever,_ accept a drink from anyone on this campus, except for me.”

“Why?”

“Because I wouldn’t put it past any one of these guys to try to slip you something.”

“Like what?”

“Ever heard of a date-rape drug?”

“Cesare!” Lucrezia gasped.  “Are you serious?  But if you don’t trust your fraternity brothers, why are you even friends with them?”

“Because they’re okay man to man, but not around women.  Especially women and alcohol.  They turn into pigs then.  Animals.  I won’t let them near you.”

“I can’t drink, I can’t talk to boys, I can’t do anything.  You’re not letting me have any fun at all.”

“You want a drink?  You think you can handle a drink?”

“Yes!”

“All right.  I’ll get you a drink.  Sit here and don’t move.  I’ll be watching.”

Cesare brought Lucrezia a sweet libation made with orange juice and vodka.

“Here, Baby.  You’ll probably like this.”

She gulped eagerly.

“Whoa, Sis.  Take it easy.  There’s more than just juice in that drink.”

By the time her glass was empty, Lucrezia was swaying in her chair, her eyes half closed.  Cesare sighed.

“I knew it.  You aren’t used to drinking and you didn’t take a nap like I wanted you to and now you’re tipsy and sleepy.  Come on.  I’m putting you to bed.”

He gently helped her to her feet and half-carried her to his room. 

“I’m sorry, Cesare.”  She began to weep.  “I should have listened to you…” Her voice trailed off as he laid her down on the bed.

He slipped off her shoes, then covered her snugly and kissed her forehead.   _Just like I used to do when you were a baby._

 

When he left the room, he locked the door behind him. 

 _‘She’ll sleep for a good long time now,’_ he thought, and returned to the party.

 

Having gotten staggeringly drunk, Cesare spent the night in a frat brother’s room, kicking off his shoes and flinging himself fully-dressed across the bed next to Mick, who had already passed out.  He awoke to the sound of vomiting close beside his ear and jumped up in alarm.  His friend was being sick over the side of the bed.

“What the fuck, Mick!”

The light glaring through the window stabbed Cesare’s eyes, indicating the time to be late morning.

Lucrezia!  He must check on her.

When he put her to bed last night, he guessed that she would remain asleep for quite some time, but she would likely be awakening soon, if she hadn’t already.

Standing up slowly, he began to make his way to his own room when his phone blared in his pocket.  He groaned, wincing as the sound made his head ache worse than it already did.

“Hello?  Oh, hi, Dad.  Lucrezia’s fine.  I put her to bed early last night and… _what_?  Oh my god!”

“You’ll have to be the one to tell her, Cesare.  That poor dog just sat by the window watching for her and when your mother answered the door, I guess he thought it was her returning home.  He barged right out and ran into the street and a car hit him.  Killed him instantly.  Poor Lucrezia.  It will break her heart.”

_Oh, fuck!  How the hell am I gonna tell her about Edsel?  She’ll blame herself._

He unlocked the door and swung it open.

“Sis, Baby, I hate to…”

He froze in horror. 

Lucrezia, sobbing, pulled at the bedsheet to try to cover her nakedness.

“Don’t look at me, Cesare,” she begged.

And then he saw the blood.


	2. Lype

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein a foul deed is made known

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lype is one of the Algea, Greek goddesses of sorrow, and is the personification of pain, grief and distress.

“Lucrezia!  What the hell…”

“Please, Cesare.  Leave.  Just go.”

He rushed to the bed and caught her in his arms as she struggled to cover herself with the sheet.

“Tell me what’s happened to you.”

“Nothing, Cesare.  Nothing’s happened.  Please go away.”

"Lucrezia.  Baby.  There’s…blood.  WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?”

She collapsed against his shoulder, crying uncontrollably.

“I don’t know.  I just know I woke up and I was naked, and there was blood on the…on the sheet.  I don’t know what happened, Cesare.  I don’t know…”

Her words tumbled over themselves as she blurted them out.

Cesare pressed his lips to her tangled hair.

“Oh, my sweet baby!  Are you hurt?  Let me look at you.”

Lucrezia pulled the sheets more tightly around her.

“No!” she shrieked. “ Don’t look at me.”

“Baby, I think you’ve been assaulted.  I need to see if you’re injured.”

“I’m okay.  Really.”

“Are you bruised?  Do you hurt anywhere?”

“No.”

“But you’re bleeding.”

“It’s from…from…”

“Oh my god.  You’re a virgin.”

Tears spilled from Lucrezia’s blue eyes.

“I _was_ a virgin.”

Cesare began to rock Lucrezia in his arms.

“Baby.  My Baby.  Who did this?”

“I don’t know.”

“You didn’t open the door, did you?  During the night?  You didn’t let anyone in?”

“I don’t think so.  I don’t remember.  I don’t remember anything after I dozed off in the chair downstairs.”

“You don’t remember anything?  Christ!  Someone must have slipped you a roofie, Baby.”

“A what?”

“A date rape drug.  Like I told you about yesterday.  Some son of a bitch drugged you and…and...Oh, my god, why did I leave you alone?  Why didn’t I stay with you last night?  I thought you’d sleep safely if I locked the door.  I didn’t want to disturb you, so I spent the night in another room.  Oh, Baby, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Cesare.  You had no way of knowing.  I should have listened to you.  It’s my stupid fault.  Mine.”

“No, Baby.  Not your fault.  The fault of that son of a bitch who drugged you.  But how did he get in?  The door was locked when I got here.”

“I don’t know.  I don’t remember opening the door.  I don’t remember anything.”

Cesare’s nostrils flared.

“It must have been that stupid shit who gave you a drink last night.  He swore to me he only gave you a ginger ale.  I’ll fucking kill him.”

“It couldn’t have been him.  The drink tasted fine.  Honestly.”

“It would.  You wouldn’t be able to tell that it had been tampered with.”

“Cesare, what am I going to do?”

“We have to call the police, Baby.”

 Lucrezia uttered a cry that sounded like that of an animal caught in a trap.  “No!  Don’t tell anyone.  Please!”

Cesare gently took both her hands and gazed into her eyes.

“Honey, we have to.  Whoever did this must be caught and made to answer for what he did.”

“No.  I can’t.  Dad and Mom would kill me.  I’m so ashamed.”

“You, ashamed?  Why should you be ashamed?  This isn’t your wrongdoing.”

“I should have been smarter.  Listened to you.  Should have done what you told me.”

“Baby, what matters now is that you get justice.  We have to report this.  Now, while everything is still fresh.  The…uh…crime scene.  The DNA.  All that forensic stuff.”

She began to sob frantically.

“No, Cesare, please, no.  Don’t put me through that.  I couldn’t bear it.  I just want to take a shower.”

 “I don’t want to upset you any more than you already are.  I’m only trying to do what’s best for you.”

“Then let me have a shower and clean myself up.”

“You can’t yet, Baby.  You’ll wash away evidence that the investigators need.”

“They’ll look at me, Cesare.  They’ll see my body…everything.  That will feel like rape to me.”

“Aw, honey…”

“Please, Cesare.  Please.  Don’t make me.”

He embraced her, patting her back. 

“If that’s what you really want, that’s what we’ll do.”

He felt her arms slide around him.

“Thank you, Cesare.”

“I’ll do anything you want, Baby.”

“Promise me you’ll stay close by while I shower.”

“I will.  I’ll be right here.”

Although Lucrezia tried to keep her body concealed when she stood up from the bed, she lost her grip on the sheet which was covering her and it fell away.  She gave a tiny wail of despair.  Cesare rushed to her and snatched the linen from the floor, enfolding her in it.  As quickly and inconspicuously as he could, he looked her over, noting that her body showed no obvious evidence of bruises or rough handling.  There would have been no need—she had been incapable of resisting.  It was only her inner thighs that gave testimony to what had happened.  Blood.  Not much, but enough.  And she carried the unmistakable scent of a man’s presence.

Lucrezia began to weep again, sobs which wrenched through her little body.

“Don’t cry, Baby,” Cesare crooned to her.

“I’m so ashamed,” she whimpered.  “You saw me.”

“Don’t be embarrassed, Lucrezia.  It’s me.  Your brother, who changed your diaper and took baths with you and slept with you when we were little.”

“But we’re not little anymore.”

“I’m still the same brother.  You don’t need to hide anything from me.  I love you, Baby Sister.  I’ll take care of you.”

Cesare sat on the toilet while Lucrezia showered.

“Talk to me, Cesare,” she called through the curtain. “Let me know you’re there.”

“I’m here, Baby.  I won’t leave your side.”

Lucrezia turned the water off.  Cesare stood, holding a big towel. 

“You can come out, Sis.  I’ll turn my head.”

He heard her sigh.

“You don’t need to, Cesare.  You’ve seen me already.”

She pulled back the shower curtain and stepped into the towel which Cesare wrapped around her.  How tiny she was, how fragile!  He pulled her close and rubbed her gently to dry her.  He tucked her head under his chin and spoke softly.

“How about this, Baby?  There’s a nice place that I know of nearby.  It’s like a mountain lodge or a ski resort.  We could go there for the rest of the weekend and swim in the indoor pool and ride bikes and hike in the woods.  Give you some decompression time before we go home to face our parents.  Let you feel stronger.”

“Do students from the university go there?  Because, if they do, I wouldn’t want to…”

“No, Baby.  It’s mostly honeymooners, or couples celebrating anniversaries.  That sort of crowd.  Quiet, well-behaved.  I promise you’ll be safe.”

“You won’t leave me alone?”

“Not for a second.”

Beyond shyness now, Lucrezia dressed while Cesare sat on her bed close to her.

“Before we go to the resort, would you take me to a laundromat or something so I can wash the bedding?” she asked, her voice barely audible.  “I’m afraid I made a mess.”

His heart constricted.

“Baby…”

“Please, Cesare.  I need to make things clean again.”

“Sure, honey.  We’ll see to it.”

A sense of profound shame engulfed him.  His baby sister so cruelly hurt. 

_Tending to her has to be my priority right now. Take care of her.  I’ll deal with everything else later._

 

With her brother’s constant, solicitous attendance upon her, Lucrezia enjoyed the weekend.  She swam, biked and walked the mountain trails and ate with a good appetite.  But she clung to Cesare, clutching his arm as it encircled her.  She spoke haltingly and nervously to other guests at the lodge who attempted to engage her in conversation in the common area, or to servers and other employees whom she encountered. 

Cesare had asked for a room with two beds, but Lucrezia begged him to sleep beside her and pressed her body close to his.  Only when he curled himself around her and draped his long leg over hers was she able to relax and sleep.

“What has me most upset,” she confided to him as she snuggled against his chest, “Is that I feel so helpless.  Something really bad happened to me, and I have no idea when or how it happened, or who did it.  Could it happen again?  Can I trust anyone?”

“You can trust me,” he murmured, pressing his lips to her forehead.

“Of course.  I know that,” she replied, raising her hand to stroke his cheek. “That’s a given, a fact of my life.  Like, I breathe air, my heart beats, I trust my brother Cesare.”

His heart sank.

_She thinks she can trust me, and yet look how I’ve failed her.  I’ll never forgive myself._

Long after Lucrezia’s light, even breathing indicated to Cesare that she was sleeping, he remained awake, ruminating on what had happened and what he now needed to do.  He had never dreamed that an event she could not even remember would cause her such anguish.  But clearly, even though she had no recollection of the attack, she recognized that something massive and terrible had been done to her.  A violation not only of her body, but of her mind and spirit.  His sister had not wanted to involve the police.  She had begged him not to make his own inquiries among his fraternity brothers, lest word get around about the attack.  And, of course, he was not to ever, _ever_ **, EVER** inform their parents.  That left him pretty hamstrung.  Although he understood Lucrezia’s desire to keep the rape a secret, he ached for the distress she felt and ached to do something to alleviate it. 

Lucrezia shifted her position a little, tugging his attention back to her, to the soft little body nestled warmly in his arms.  So small.  So vulnerable.  His baby sister.

Cesare did not return to school until the Wednesday after he brought Lucrezia home, wanting to ensure that she was settled in and comfortably able to face her parents and to negotiate her way through her school days.  She slipped into his room and slept for awhile in his bed each night, leaving before dawn.  When he returned to university, promising to phone her each day, she bid him a dejected farewell. 

“If you find things too hard to deal with, call me,” he admonished her.  “I’ll come home to you right away.”

She managed a tiny smile then, and brushed away her tears.

 

In the weeks after he was back at school, Cesare found it difficult to concentrate, worried and preoccupied as he was with Lucrezia’s well-being.  A restless man given to action, he chaffed at the boundaries Lucrezia had begged him to observe, which hobbled him into immobility.

 

Cesare’s blood turned to ice at the tenor of his father’s voice at the other end of the phone.

“We need you to come home, Son.  Immediately.”

“Why?  What is it?  Is someone sick?”

“It’s your sister.  She’s pregnant.”


	3. Kronos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein is staged a coup d'etat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kronos, a Greek Titan who ruled as king of the world, swallowed his children to prevent them from overthrowing him. Rhea, his wife, helped their son Zeus to topple him from his throne.

During the long drive home, Cesare’s brain spun frantically. 

Pregnant.  Lucrezia pregnant.  How?  Well, of course, he knew how, but…

Why, oh why, hadn’t he at least insisted that she let him get her a “morning after” drug? 

Her anguished tears and his own guilt had suffocated his common sense. 

Pregnant.

What now?

Rodrigo’s voice was shaky as he spoke to Cesare on the phone.

“Lucrezia kept vomiting, so your mother took her to the doctor.  You can only imagine our reaction to the news.  Eight weeks pregnant.  Your sister refuses to speak to us about her condition unless you’re here with her.  What do you know about this?”

“I’d rather wait to talk until I get home.  But I can tell you this: it’s not Lucrezia’s fault.”

“I don’t understand.  How could it not be her fault?”

“Dad, we’ll talk when I get there.  Meantime, please don’t be harsh towards Lucrezia.  She deserves your compassion right now.” 

“Compassion?  You’d better have one hell of a story to tell when you get here if you think your mother and I should be compassionate to her.”

“Dad, believe me.  Do not yell at her, do not reproach her.  She’s a victim.”

“Of _what_ , for Christ’s sake?”

“Wait until I get home.  Please.  I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

 

Rodrigo paced back and forth by the front window, watching for his son.

“At last,” he shouted when he saw Cesare's BMW, and rushed to the door, opening it before he had turned the engine off.

“Rodrigo,” Vannozza admonished. “Let him at least catch his breath.  He’s been on the road for hours.”

Lucrezia used her mother’s distraction to run around her father’s looming presence and fling herself into her brother’s arms as he came up the walkway. 

“Cesare, I’m so sorry to drag you into this,” she sobbed.  “This isn’t your concern.”

“Of course it’s my concern, Baby.  I have to be here.  Don’t cry.”

Arm in arm, they walked into the house.

“Cesare,” Vannozza began. “You must be tired.  Can I get you a…”

“Bullshit!” Rodrigo bellowed. “No more delays.  We’ve waited long enough.  Talk, Cesare.  Now.”

Anticipating his father’s reaction, Cesare gently steered Lucrezia towards her mother and stood alone, his chin lifted.

“Well, Dad, when I took Lucrezia to school with me, one of my frat brothers apparently slipped her a knockout drug during a party and raped her…”

With an incoherent roar, Rodrigo slammed his fist into Cesare’s jaw, sending him sprawling on his back onto the floor.

Vannozza and Lucrezia shrieked and grabbed at Rodrigo’s arms.

“No, Dad,” the young girl cried out. “It’s not Cesare’s fault.  It’s mine.  I didn’t listen to him.  If I had obeyed him, nothing would have happened to me.”

“Rodrigo, please,” Vannozza cried. “For god’s sake, let the kids speak.  Let them explain.”

“Explain?  Explain what?  This is a catastrophe.”

“Of course it is, but it won’t do any good for you to lash out.  We need to talk about this rationally.”

Lucrezia was helping Cesare to his feet, weeping at the sight of her brother’s cracked lip and the angry contusion that was forming where Rodrigo’s fist had connected with his face.

“Daddy,” she declared, her chin quivering but her voice resolute.  “Don’t you dare hit Cesare again.  None of this is his fault.  I was stupid.  It’s all my fault.”

Cesare circled his arm around Lucrezia’s shoulder. 

“No, Baby, it _is_ my fault.  I didn’t protect you like I promised I would.”

“Well, isn’t this sweet, Vannozza,” Rodrigo spat. “Nobody’s at fault, but our sixteen year old daughter is somehow pregnant.”

Vannozza sighed.

“Everyone, please calm down.  Let’s all sit together and think sensibly.”

“Wait a minute, Mom,” Lucrezia said, and went into the kitchen to get some ice for Cesare’s darkening jaw.  She sat down next to him on the sofa and pressed the cold pack gently against his battered face.

“Is everyone comfy now?” Rodrigo snarled, lowering himself into an armchair. “Does anyone want a pillow?  A footstool?  Some caviar?  A bon-bon? ”

“Rodrigo,” Vannozza hissed. “Stop it.  You’re not helping at all.  I’m not minimizing the gravity of the situation, but we need to talk intelligently about it.  About what we are going to do to help our daughter.”

“Well, there’s only one thing to be done,” Rodrigo pronounced. “She must have an abortion.  The sooner, the better.”

The color drained from Lucrezia’s face.  She instinctively pressed her hand over her belly.

“No, Daddy.  I can’t do that.”

“It’s for the best, honey.”  Vannozza spoke softly.

“NO!” Cesare shouted.  “Absolutely not.  Lucrezia can’t even bear to swat a fly.  She’d never be able to live with herself if she were to abort the baby.  Would you, Sis?”

“No.  I couldn’t.”  Lucrezia clutched her brother’s hand.  “I couldn’t ever forgive myself.”

Cesare draped his arm around Lucrezia’s shoulders and lifted his bruised chin defiantly.

“You won’t force her into this.  I won’t let you do that.”

“But, honey, you’re just a child yourself,” Vannozza cried. “You’re much too young to have a baby.”

“There’s no room for discussion,” Rodrigo insisted. “She’s getting an abortion. End of argument.”

“I’m not, Daddy.  I’ll run away.  My brother will help me.”

“I will,” Cesare said flatly.  “You know I will.”

“Lucrezia, you didn’t ask for this,” Vannozza pleaded. “You shouldn’t have to bear the consequences of someone else’s wrongdoing.”

“No, I didn’t deliberately get pregnant, Mommy.  But I _am_ pregnant.  The baby is alive and growing.  I can’t hurt it.”

“You see, Vannozza,” Rodrigo shouted. “This is what comes from you coddling and spoiling the kids like you always did.  I warned you and warned you, but did you heed me?  Oh, no.  Not you.  ‘We can’t discipline our children, Rodrigo. It would give them a trauma.’”

“Belittle me later, Rodrigo.  Not now.  This is about what’s best for our daughter.”

“I’ll take her back to school with me,” Cesare asserted.  “She’ll be safe there.”

“Like she was safe with you before?” Rodrigo thundered.  “You’re the one to blame for this whole mess.  If you hadn’t taken her with you in the first place, or if you had watched over her like you said you would…”

“Stop!  Stop!” Lucrezia pleaded as Cesare released her from his arms and stood up in preparation to square off with their father.  “Don’t fight over me.  Please.  I beg you.”

Vannozza rose and stepped between father and son, pushing them apart with her hands on their chests.

“Sit down, both of you.  Cesare, you said that one of your fraternity brothers had drugged and assaulted Lucrezia.  Do you know who did it?”

“Not for certain, but I have a pretty good idea.”

“Did you confront him?” Rodrigo demanded.

“Cesare wanted to, Daddy, but I begged him not to,” Lucrezia interrupted. “He wanted to go to the police.  Report it.  I couldn’t bear the thought.  They’d interrogate me.  Examine my body to collect evidence.  I just couldn’t face that.  Cesare begged me to do the intelligent thing, but I panicked.”

“She was so distraught that it would have been like a second assault to put her through that,” Cesare said quietly, as Lucrezia moved closer to him and slipped her hand in his. “I just couldn’t countenance that.”

“So you completely pissed away any opportunity for the police to gather evidence.  No DNA, no stray hairs, no crime scene fingerprints. No nothing.”  Rodrigo shook his head in disgust.

“Let’s back up here a little,” Vannozza spoke over her husband. “Tell us as much as you know of what happened.”

Lucrezia turned to her brother.

“Cesare will have to tell you.  I don’t remember anything.”

Cesare drew a deep breath and began.

“Well, Mom, Dad, when Lucrezia and I arrived at school…”

 

“You don’t remember letting anyone into the dorm room, Lucrezia?” Vannozza’s frown expressed her bafflement. “Then how could your attacker have gotten in?”

“I don’t know, Mom.  I may have opened the door.  I just don’t remember.”

“That’s how these drugs work, Mom,” Cesare said. “They render a person incapable of remembering anything.”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t left your sister alone,” Rodrigo snapped.

“I’m sorry, Dad.  I had to take a piss.  I wasn’t gone more than five minutes.”

“Rodrigo,” Vannozza sighed. “Be reasonable.  Cesare confronted the young man who gave Lucrezia a drink.  He did all he could.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have left her alone in your room.  Even though you locked the door.  You know that.”

“I know that now, Dad.  I will regret it for the rest of my life.”

“So will your sister, thanks to you.  You didn’t protect her.  You abandoned her in your room when she was drugged and defenseless.  You let her be attacked and you didn’t take proper care of her afterwards.”

“Dad, I…”

“You stupid shit!  By your own unpardonable inaction, you let this sordid mess get swept under the rug and now you want your sister to go ahead and bear this…this fruit of a _rape_?  Are you insane?”

“Daddy,” Lucrezia pleaded.  “It’s not the baby’s fault.  I won’t have an abortion.”

“Lucrecia, honey.”  Vannozza reached out and took her daughter’s shivering hand. “You don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for.  Pregnancy can be difficult at any age, but you’re still a child yourself.  And think of the humiliation you’d face.  People wouldn’t know about your circumstances and would assume the worst.”

“That’s why I want to get her out of town, Mom,” Cesare declared. “And I _will_ take care of her, in spite of what Dad says.”

“I’ll throw you both out for good.  I’ll disown you.  Mark my words.”

“Oh, Rodrigo, stop it,” Vannozza scoffed. “You’ll do no such thing.  Lucrezia needs our help now more than ever.  She’s always been a good girl.  You know that.  And Cesare is a loving son and devoted brother.  Yes, we have a terrible situation to face.  But we will face it together.  Lucrezia, I know you can’t bear the thought of an abortion.  You’re very idealistic, and that’s admirable.  But you’re far too young to be a mother, to raise a child.  Consider this, then.  You and Cesare move to his college town and stay there until you give birth.  We can arrange for the baby to be adopted.  Would you be able to live with that decision?  You would be bringing great joy to a loving couple who would be so grateful to adopt your baby.”

Cesare turned to his sister.

“Does that sound reasonable to you, Sis?  Something you could accept?”

Lucrezia hesitated, but was encouraged by an almost imperceptible nod from her brother.

 _‘Say yes,’_ his expression told her. _‘Go along with it.  Just for now.’_

She drew a breath and squeezed her mother’s hand.

“Yes, Mom.  I think I could live with that.”

 

Lucrezia’s summer break had begun ten days earlier, so she was able to pack up her things and leave with Cesare the next morning. 

“We’ll stay in a respectable hotel until we can find a suitable place to live,” Cesare assured his parents.  “That shouldn’t take too long.”

“See that you do,” Rodrigo demanded. “I don't want Lucrezia anywhere near that goddam fraternity house of yours.”

“Neither do I, Dad.”

Father and son stood in the driveway loading Lucrezia’s luggage into the BMW.  Rodrigo spoke quietly.

“Just what do you plan to do about this?”

“Well, I’m going to take care of Lucrezia and support her.  I’ll be finished with this semester’s final exams next week and I’ll be able to devote all my attention to her.”

“That’s not what I meant.  What are you going to do to deal with whoever did this to her?  Surely you don’t plan to just forget about it.”

“No, Dad, I don’t.  Up until now, Lucrezia begged me not to do anything that would call attention to the assault, and I reluctantly went along with her so she wouldn’t get upset.  But I never gave up on the idea of making the son of a bitch pay for what he did.  I’ve been pondering on what I want to do.”

“Well, that’s more like it.  I knew your Borgia blood would come into play sooner or later.”

“Dad, Lucrezia will be avenged.  She just won’t know about it.”

Rodrigo clapped Cesare on the back.

“I’m sorry I belted you, Son.”

“For a middle-aged dude, you pack quite a punch.”

“Well, you took it like a man.”

 

As Cesare’s BMW sped along the highway heading toward the university, he inclined his head, resting his injured cheek on Lucrezia’s soft cloud of golden hair as she nestled against his shoulder.

He had done it.  He had pulled off no less than a coup d’etat within his own family, usurping his father’s throne.  His authority.  His position as head of the family.  He had been aided in this by his own mother, a formidable ally.

Cesare had taken over sole responsibility for his sister’s care, had now established indisputably that Lucrezia was, just as he had declared from the day of her birth, _his_ baby.  His alone.

Lucrezia gently touched his chin, wincing at the mark which covered most of it.

“I’m so sorry that Dad hit you on my account,” she murmured.  “I hate him for it.”

“Don’t say that, Baby.  I can’t blame him for being furious with me.  Something terrible happened to you on my watch, after I had assured our parents that I’d keep you safe.  Dad was just being a dad, an outraged father whose little girl had been hurt.”

“I don’t care, Cesare.  I’m outraged at him for what he did to you.”

“Well, he was contrite.  And he let you go with me, didn’t he?”

“I’d have gone anyway, and he knew it.  He knows damn well that you are the one I love best, and I always will.”

A slow smile spread across Cesare’s face.

Lucrezia placed her hand over his on the gearshift.

“Do I really have to give the baby up for adoption?” she asked timidly.

He turned toward her, his eyes melting with tenderness.

“Oh, hell no, Honey.  I just wanted you to say that to buy us time.  There’s no way in hell you’re going to give up your baby.”

“But how can I take care of it?  How will I be able to…?”

“We’ll do it together.  You and me, together.”

She began to cry.

“That’s asking too much of you, Cesare.  You have your own life to live.”

“ _You_ are my life, Lucrezia.  Your baby will be my baby too.”


	4. Artemis And Apollo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein is established a new way of life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artemis and Apollo, children of Zeus in Greek mythology, were siblings noted for their surpassing beauty and devotion to each other.

“Buy two beds, Cesare?  Why?” Lucrezia asked her brother as they meandered through the furniture store aisles. “Do you want your own room?  I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep unless…”

“For the spare bedroom, Baby.  Same reason we took a two-bedroom apartment.  Just for the sake of appearances.  In case of visitors.  Mom and Dad, for instance.  They’d go apeshit if they knew we were sleeping in the same bed.”

“I feel like such a big baby, so overly dependent on you.  I should really try to get beyond this.”

He slipped his finger under her chin and raised her face to his.

“No, honey.  I’ll always want to stay close beside you.”

Her rosy lips curved into a smile so endearing that he had to give them a quick peck.

 

Once Cesare finished with finals, he had turned all his energy to finding an apartment in which Lucrezia could feel safe and comfortable, with good security and reliable door locks.  Their new residence featured a small laundry area and a charming bay window with a built-in cushioned seat where she could curl up and watch squirrels and other wildlife which inhabited the trees standing in abundance near their building.  Lucrezia chose dishes, cooking utensils, silverware and bed and bathroom linens to her taste.  Cesare surprised her with a narrow antique Persian rug for the hallway. 

“It’s all so wonderful, Cesare,” Lucrezia exclaimed, twirling around in a circle in the middle of the living room. “I just know that I’ll be perfectly happy here with you.”

Laughing, he caught her up in his arms and kissed her cheek.

“Stop spinning or you’ll get dizzy and fall over.”

“No I won’t.  You won’t let me fall.”

He drew her close to him, tucking her head under his chin.

“Nothing will ever hurt you again.  I promise.  Aw, honey!  Don’t cry!  I’m sorry if I brought up bad memories for you.”

Lucrezia’s eyes had begun to fill with tears.  Cesare patted her back.

“Hey, Baby.  It’s all right.  You’re safe with me.  Safe right here in my arms.”

She pressed her face to his shoulder, her tears wetting his shirt.

“Cesare, Cesare.  I’m so scared all the time.  Afraid of my own shadow.”

“You’re entitled to be.”

“But what a burden I must be to you.  I can’t make a move without you.”

“I’m your big brother.  I’m supposed to take care of you.  Keep you safe.  If I hadn’t been derelict in my duty to you in the first place, you’d never have been hurt.  The least I can do is look after you like I should have.”

“No, Cesare.  I should have obeyed you.  I should have known that when I don’t listen to you, bad things happen.”

He rocked her gently, crooning to her softly.  She raised her eyes to his.

“Cesare, _am_ I a burden?”

He caught his breath.  She was so appealing, so very endearing.  So precious.

“Baby, you could never be a burden.  There’s nothing on earth I’d rather do than be here for you.”

“Then you don’t mind my leaning on you like I do?”

“Mind?  It’s exactly what I want you to do.  Lean on me.  Rely on me.  Haven’t I always been there for you?  From the time you were little, I watched over you.”

He tenderly brushed her hair back from her face.  His heart constricted when her lips curved into her tremulous, glowing, radiant smile, the one she gave only to him.

“There, now,” he rasped, his voice clotted with emotion.  “Stop worrying.  You know that no one will ever love you like I do.”

“And I will never love anyone more than I love you, Cesare.”

“I know that, Baby.  Just put yourself in my hands and have confidence that it’s exactly what I want you to do.  Always.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder again, sighing.  He could feel her body relax in his embrace.  Lucrezia.  His Baby. 

 

Shortly after they moved in together, Cesare took his sister on an excursion to a pet store where he helped her to choose a lively yellow parakeet.

“I’ll name her ‘Gelb.’  That’s how you say ‘yellow’ in German.”

“I’ll get Gelby the safest, nicest, prettiest cage there is,” he assured her as he stood with his arms around her, towering over her. 

 

Rodrigo bellowed into the phone at his son.

“I just got the credit card bill for your shopping spree.  What the hell did you and your sister think you were furnishing—the Vatican?”

“Dad, if you could have seen how happy Lucrezia was picking out things, how thrilled and animated she was, you wouldn’t have had the heart to put the brakes on her either.  It was the first time in months that she was laughing and smiling and relaxed.”

“Yeah, well, that’s really touching, but now I’m the one with the stress level.  What’s this charge for ‘Pet Depot?’  Two hundred fifty dollars.  For what?”

“A parakeet and a cage. Bird food.  Stuff like that.  Ever since her dog got killed, Lucrezia has been heartbroken.  She needed to have a pet with her here.”

“Well, if you wanted her to have a pet, couldn’t you have taken along the one she already had?  Now your mother is stuck caring for that goddam fish.  The last thing she needs.”

“It just wasn’t practical to transport Fishy all that way.  It would probably have died of stress.  Last thing Lucrezia needs.”

“Don’t get smart with me, Cesare.  While you and your sister are playing house, I get to be Daddy Warbucks and pay for it all. What the Jesus Christ are your grocery bills going to look like?  Steak and caviar?”

“No, Dad.  Real food.  Fresh food.  You want me to look after Lucrezia, don’t you?  See that she stays healthy.”

“I want you to have a care that the family balance sheet stays healthy too.  Has your sister seen a doctor yet?”

“Yes.  She has an obstetrician.”

“What does the doctor know of her circumstances?”

“The truth.  That the baby was conceived while Lucrezia was under the influence of a drug which she unknowingly ingested.”

“And how is she feeling?  Really, Cesare!  Why must you make me ask you these questions?  Can’t you just tell me?”

“Well, Dad, I’m not sure how interested you are.  I mean, you sure aren’t happy about the pregnancy.”

“Of course I’m not happy!” Rodrigo thundered. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about my daughter’s welfare.  Your mother and I are coming up for a visit this weekend.  Check things out.”

“We’ll be glad to see you.  You can have my bedroom and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

 

“It’s just for the weekend, Baby,” Cesare told Lucrezia soothingly.  “And I’ll sneak in after Mom and Dad have gone to bed.”

They shared conspiratorial smiles.

 

When Vannozza entered her children’s apartment, she looked around and smiled her approval. 

“What a lovely place you have!  It’s so tidy and comfortable-looking.  How beautifully you’ve furnished it.”

“Yes, and I have the bills to prove it,” Rodrigo grumbled.  Everyone ignored him.

“Lucrezia picked out everything,” Cesare stated proudly.  “Don’t you think she has good taste?”

“Indeed she does,” Vannozza purred admiringly.

Lucrezia took her mother by the hand.  “Mommy, come and see Gelby, my parakeet.  Cesare got her for me.  I’m teaching her to talk.”

“Ah, yes.  Gelby,” Rodrigo grumbled. “The Six Million Dollar Bird.”  Everyone ignored him.

“Mom, Dad, please sit down,” Lucrezia invited.  “Dinner is almost ready.”

 

When they were done eating, the women cleared the table while Cesare showed Rodrigo around the apartment.

Vannozza raised her eyebrows as she helped Lucrezia to load the dishwasher.

“Is that a wedding ring you’re wearing?” she asked her daughter.

“Oh, Cesare bought that for me.  He doesn’t want me to look like an unwed mother.  Don’t you think it’s sweet, how he thinks of those things?  He’s always looking out for me.”

“Do your neighbors think you’re a married couple?”

“Well, we haven’t told them in so many words, but I suppose they might assume we are.”

Vannozza fell silent, while her stomach squirmed.

 

The family spent the evening cordially, relaxing in the cozy living room, sipping tea.

“What a lovely meal you cooked, Lucrezia,” Vannozza said. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Cesare helps me, Mom.  He’s so good about it, lets me try out new recipes on him.”

“What does the doctor say about your baby, Sweetie?”

Rodrigo interrupted.

“Vannozza, don’t be calling it ‘your baby.’  It’s not _her_ baby, remember?  She’s giving it up as soon as it’s born.”

This time, no one ignored Rodrigo.  Every head turned towards him.

“Rodrigo, you’ve said nothing but negative things since we walked in the door.  Even on the drive up, all you did was complain,” Vannozza observed.

“May I remind you that we all agreed that it’s best for Lucrezia to give the child up for adoption?  It’s not good for her or any of us to think of it as ‘her baby,’ or ‘our baby.’”

Lucrezia opened her mouth.  “Daddy,” she began, but Cesare laid his hand on her arm, cautioning her from speaking.

“Look, Rodrigo.” Vannozza said calmly. “We all love Lucrezia, so it’s a tough time for all of us.  We understand that you’re hurting, because we are too.  But the way you’re going about coping with it isn’t helping anyone.  Least of all yourself.”  Vannozza reached out and took her husband’s hand.  “Darling, you’re a caring father, and this is hell for you.  You want it to just be over.  Well, it will be, and soon.  But while we’re going through it, we all have our roles to play.”

“Mine appears to be to just sit on the sidelines and fork over money without being allowed to say one damn thing about it.”

“Daddy,” Lucrezia finally said. “I am so sorry about all of this.  I hate that you are all affected by my situation.  I am so very, very sorry…”

She began to sob.  His face stricken, Rodrigo knelt on the floor in front of her and flung his arms around her.

“No, _I’m_ sorry, Sweetheart.  You’re my little girl and it’s killing me to see you having to suffer like this.  I’m angry, all right, but not at you.  I’m angry at the man who did this to you.  I’m angry at _Life_ for doing this to you.”

Cesare and his mother crossed over to close a circle around father and daughter. 

“Rodrigo,” Vannozza spoke softly, her eyes brimming with tears. “Our love for our family will get us through this.”

 

Half an hour after his parents had retired to the guest room, Cesare got up from the sofa and crept silently to the bed where Lucrezia lay.  She held her arms out to him, welcoming him.

“I’m so glad you’re here.  I’m so upset.”

“I know.  It was pretty intense, wasn’t it?  I hope everyone feels that the air is cleared a bit.”

“Do you still think it’s too soon to tell Dad and Mom that I want to keep the baby?”

“Yeah, Honey, I do.  Dad’s still getting used to the idea that you’re pregnant.  Better not to pile too many things on him at once.”

“What about Mommy?”

“I think she’s going to be okay with it.”

“I’m glad.  But I’m most glad that you’re okay with it.”

Cesare lowered his head onto Lucrezia’s pillow and snuggled her close to him. 

“Get your rest now, Honey.  Remember this:  you’re _my_ baby and that makes your baby _our_ baby.”

Impulsively, she kissed his lips. 

“I love you, Cesare.”

“I love you too, Baby.”

 

Knowing his father to be an early riser, Cesare made his way into the kitchen while it was still dark and busied himself making coffee.  Rodrigo joined him shortly thereafter and the two men sat over cups of Italian Roast, speaking quietly.

“Have you learned anything new about the man who…”

“I’m still making inquiries, Dad.  I don’t want to say or do anything to upset Lucrezia or make her condition publicly known.  Most of the fraternity brothers are back at their homes for the summer anyway, so there really isn’t much that can be done.  My primary concern right now is for Lucrezia.”

“Surely you don’t intend to let this just go away?  Just forget about it?”

“Of course not.  It’s in the back of my mind constantly.  But, as I said, taking care of Lucrezia, getting her through this, is my main focus.”

“The perpetrator must be made to pay.”

“He will, Dad.  I assure you, he will.”

 

The senior Borgias departed for home on Sunday morning, leaving their children with hugs and exhortations to call if they needed anything, or to just call for any reason.

“Keep us posted about what the doctor says,” Vannozza murmured to Lucrezia as she kissed her cheek.  “Cesare, take care of your sister.”

“He does, Mommy.  He takes good care of me,” Lucrezia assured her.  “Call and let us know you arrived home safely.”

 

Cesare awoke to the sensation of a hand sliding over his bare chest.

“Hey, Baby,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes, still groggy. “What time is it? Are you okay?”

Beside him, Lucrezia stirred.

“Cesare.” 

He tensed.  He knew that querulous tone of voice.

“Yes, Baby?”

“Isn’t it ridiculous?  Here I am pregnant, and I‘ve never even seen a man naked.”

“I have to agree that a step seems to have been missed in your sex education.”

“Will you let me look at you?  At your body?”

“Me?  Jeez, Baby, I don’t know…”

“Even though we live together and sleep together, I’ve never seen you.  You always hide from me when you’re undressed.  But I’m better off looking at you than at anyone else, don’t you think?  I can trust you because you love me.”

“Well, I sure do love you, but…naked?  Not a good idea.”

Her lower lip thrust forward.  His shoulders sagged.

“Aw, honey.  Don’t pout.  I can’t bear it when you pout.”

“I want to see you.”

He sighed in resignation.

“Oh, all right.  I wouldn’t do this for anyone but you,” he grumbled

“You’ve never taken your clothes off for any other woman?”

“You know what I mean.  This is embarrassing.”

“You’ve seen _me_ naked.”

“True.  But those were extreme circumstances.   It wasn’t like I set out to see you.”

“Cesare, I need to see what a man looks like.  Help me.  Please.”

He bowed his head, capitulating, and began to push off his pajama bottoms.

“Want me to help you?” Lucrezia asked.

“Absolutely not.  You keep your hands to yourself.”

“Can I ask questions?”

“I suppose so.”

“How tall are you?”

“Six feet two.”

“That’s taller than a lot of guys, isn’t it?”

“And not as tall as some.  I take after Dad, built like him.”

Lucrezia ran her hands over his bare shoulders and down the muscles of his chest.  He bridled.

“Sis, I said hands off.”

“But I can’t really understand without touching you.   I need the whole experience.”

“Baby…”

Her lower lip thrust forward.  His shoulders sagged.

He sighed in resignation.

“Oh, all right.  But no touching the ‘nads.”

“Just show me then.”

He finished removing his pajamas and kicked them onto the floor.

Lucrezia’s eyes widened and she caressed his hard belly, moving downward.

“Oh, Cesare!  You’re beautiful.”

He caught her hand in his and pushed it away.  _Jesus Christ!_

“Cut that out, Sis.  This is supposed to be strictly an academic exercise.”

“Couldn’t help myself.  You’re so beautiful,” she repeated.

His face burning, he pulled the sheet over his lower body.

“Look, Baby.  I’m feeling really stupid and awkward here, exposing myself like this for you.  If you can’t stick to the parameters…”

“I’m sorry.  I’ll be good.”

“Okay, then.”

Clearing his throat nervously, he allowed her to uncover him and renew her inspection.

“I’ve seen some guys, like at the beach, who were as hairy as bears.  You’re not like that.”

“Nope.”

She grasped his arm and raised it.

“But you have armpit hair.”

“Yeah.  Some guys shave theirs, like women do.”  _Why the hell am I telling her this?_

“Why would they do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I’m glad you don’t shave.  I think it’s sexy.”

“Sis…!”

“And your chest has just this little patch of hair in the middle.”

“Yeah. But I’m young.  I’ll get more over time.”

She circled her fingertip around his nipple _._

“Why do men have these?”

“I don’t know.  Quit touching me.”  _Jesus Christ!_

“Are they sensitive?”

“Yes, dammit.”

“Don’t you like to have them touched?”

“Yes, but not by you.”

Lucrezia sighed. 

“Fine.”  She hovered her pointing finger over his midsection. “You have this line of hair from your navel to your…”

“Don’t touch.  Some people call them ‘happy trails.’”

Lucrezia giggled. 

“I can see why.  And you have hair around your…”

“Yes.”  _Good lord.  Would this never end?_

“I didn’t know men had hair there.”

“You really have been sheltered, Baby, haven’t you?”

“I have.  Isn’t it absurd that I know almost nothing about men and yet I’m pregnant…”

She began to cry.  Stricken, Cesare sat up and pulled her close.

“Aw, Baby.  Don’t.  It’s not your fault.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  If it weren’t for my stupidity…”

“Stop, Cesare.  Don’t blame yourself.  I forbid it.”

“It didn’t have to have happened.  If only I had…”

“Cesare, stop blaming yourself.  Blame the man who did it.”

“Baby.  Oh, my Baby.  I’ll make it up to you.  I’ll take care of you…”

“You already do.  I feel so protected.”

He kissed her, quickly, briefly, on the mouth.  “I love you, Sis.”

“I love you, Cesare.”

He gently brushed away her tears and then lay back upon the pillows.

“Let’s finish your tour then, shall we?”

She rested her head upon his chest and stroked her hand down his stomach.

“Sis.  I said no touching the ‘nads.”  _Her hand is so soft…_

He turned over, presenting his back to her.

“Here.  See the flip side.”

Breathless, her lips parted, she caressed his shoulders and the long, smooth curve of his back.  She rested her hand on his fine, hard buttocks.  He jumped.

“Hands, Sis!”  _Damn!  That felt much too good._

Her lower lip thrust forward.  His shoulders sagged.

“Don’t pout, Baby.  Please.”

“I need to feel you.  To feel the difference between a man and a woman.  I just do.”

He sighed in resignation.

“Oh, all right.”

Her touch was warm upon his backside, her fingers gentle.  She continued down along his thighs.

“You don’t have cellulite.  It’s not fair.”

“It’s my understanding that men don’t usually get it.  Lucky us, huh?”

“I like your leg hair.  It’s just right.”

“Okay, Goldilocks.  Are you done now?  Have you seen enough?”

“No.  You didn’t let me get a good enough look at your…bits.”

“Jesus Christ, Lucrezia!  How much more do you need to see?”

“Enough to feel informed.  Please.”

Her lower lip thrust forward.  His shoulders sagged.

He sighed in resignation.

“Oh, all right.”

Biting the inside of his cheek, he turned over on his back.

“Make it quick, okay?”

She moved in close, so close he could feel her warm breath upon his belly.  _OMG. This is so…_

“Cesare, do all guys look like you?  I mean, do they have…um…penises like yours?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t look at guys.  But I guess everyone is different.  Some guys are bigger and some are smaller.”  _Her breath is so warm.  Her lips are parted.  Man, how would it feel if she put those lips around my…Stop it!  Stop thinking like that!_

“And your…um…these…”

She pointed.

“My balls.” 

“That sounds like such an ugly word.  Isn’t there a better one?”

“What?  Testicles?  Sounds like an octopus.  Nuts?  Scrotum?  Sack?  Any of those strike your fancy?”

“Oh, Cesare.  Your skin is so soft.  Like peach skin.”

She had cupped him with her small hand, gently caressing him.  _Oh, Jesus!_

“Goddammit, Sis!”  He rolled over onto his stomach. “I said no touching!”

“I just had to.  I couldn’t help it.”

“We’re done here.”

“But, Cesare…”

“Done.  Now turn over and go to sleep.  And don’t try to pull that pouting act on me because it won’t work.  Not anymore.”

She huffed indignantly and flopped down on her pillow, her eyes closed.  He waited a moment and then got out of bed to retrieve his pajama bottoms.  She opened her eye a slit and choked back a gasp.  His penis!  It was…it was…!

_Hard.  She made me hard.  Goddammit!  I hope she didn’t see.  Her hand felt so amazing...I couldn’t help myself._

Clicking off the lamp on his nightstand, Cesare got into bed and turned his back to Lucrezia, his mind spinning frantically.

_She didn’t see.  Did she?  Did she?_

After awhile, Lucrezia reached out to turn off her lamp and settled down beside Cesare, lying on her side, curled up against him.  Silence hung heavily between them.  His heart ached.  His arms ached.  He turned and embraced her.  He could feel her tears, hot against his bare chest.

“Don’t be mad at me, Cesare,” she pleaded.

“Oh, Honey.  I could never be mad at you.”

He bent his head to kiss her, and her lips clung to his.

“I love you, my Baby,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

Cradled in her brother’s arms, Lucrezia soon fell asleep, but he lay awake, unnerved by the drama which had played out between them. 

 

_Had she seen him aroused by her touch?  If she had, would she have understood the change in his body?  She didn’t seem afraid of him.  She had felt secure and trusting enough to have fallen asleep in his arms.  Trusting.  She trusted him.  But should she?  Could he trust himself?_


	5. Lofn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein love cannot be denied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lofn is the Norse goddess of forbidden love, who blesses illicit affairs

“Cesare.  Cesare.  Cesare.”

Gelby sat on her perch, chattering away.

“Cesare.  Cesare.  Cesare.”

Lucrezia blushed, realizing that she said her brother’s name so often that the little parakeet had begun to repeat it.

What a drag upon him she must be!  He swore that she wasn’t, that he adored being here with her, looking after her, but…

She must be suffocating him.

 

“I want to move into the spare room.”  She took pains not to say his name within Gelby’s hearing.

“You _what?_   Why?”

“I need my space.  That’s why.”

“Baby…”

“I’m _not_ a baby.  I’m _having_ a baby. It’s time I grew up.”

Cesare’s mouth opened and then closed.

“If you’re sure that’s what you want, then I’ll move into the spare room.”

“No, I will.”

“Honey, it will be easier if I move.  I have fewer things.”

“But the bed in the spare room is smaller.  You need the big bed.  I’ll move.  Anyway, I’ll just be sleeping there.  I can leave my clothes and things where they are, and just go in the room when you’re not there.”

The expression on his face—was it hurt?  It certainly wasn’t the relief she had expected. 

 

Lucrezia lay awake in the spare bedroom, staring at the door.  Was the knob turning?  So many shadows!  What was lurking in them?  Had she remembered to lock the window?  She got up and checked.  Yes, it was indeed locked.  Just as it had been locked when she checked it fifteen minutes ago. 

Had something moved in the corner?  What was that noise?  Oh.  Just the refrigerator kicking on.  What time was it?  Five minutes later than it was five minutes ago. 

She placed her hand on her belly.  The baby began to hiccup.  Great!  How long would that go on tonight? 

Did she really have to pee, or did it just seem so?  Ouch.  The baby kicked her bladder.  Now she really did have to pee.  She threw back the blankets and headed for the bathroom.  There was no light shining from under the door of their—Cesare’s—bedroom. 

Poor Cesare.  Probably having the first decent night’s sleep since she moved in with him—moved in _on_ him.  Disrupted his life.  Sapped all his resources.  Drained all his attention.  He was a young man on summer break from school.  He should be dating girls, hanging out with friends, being carefree.  Anything but squiring around his pregnant sister to the grocery store and the obstetrician.  The highlight of his week should not be watching “Game Of Thrones” on Sunday night.

She rubbed her hand over her belly, silently begging the baby to quit hiccupping. 

The baby.

_The_ baby?

_My_ baby?

_Our_ baby?

Dad was right.  She must give it up for adoption. Everyone would be relieved.  Oh, Cesare would protest, maybe even sincerely, but it was for the best.  She _did_ depend upon him too much.  Asked him for too much.  It would be nothing but wrong to expect him to devote the rest of his life to raising a child that wasn’t even his. 

He would thank her someday, sooner rather than later. 

He would.

 

 Cesare lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling in the master bedroom. 

Why?

Why had she wanted to leave him?  Leave the bed they shared?

What had he done wrong?

What a drag he must be on her!  Standing over her, supervising her every move, managing her diet and her activity level and her sleep.  She swore she loved being with him, having him take care of her, but…

He must be suffocating her.

She was young, just a kid.  She should be going on dates, hanging out with her friends, being carefree.  Anything but pregnant, with nobody but her brother to talk to and be with.  She should be having more to look forward to than trips to the grocery store and the obstetrician.  The highlight of her week should not be watching “Outlander” on Saturday night.  And the baby? 

The baby.

_The_ baby?

_Her_ baby?

_Our_ baby?

Lucrezia needed his help with the baby.  She couldn’t care for it alone.  If she cut him out of her life, what would she do about the baby?  Surely she wouldn’t change her mind and give it up for adoption.  What could he do to make her take him back?  Promise to lighten up, give her more space, more independence?   If she gave her baby up, she’d never get over it.  He had to convince her to let him help her keep and raise the baby.

She would thank him someday, sooner rather than later. 

She would.

 

Sprawled on the sofa, shirtless, barefoot, Cesare extended the hand holding the television remote and restlessly scrolled through the channels. 

Not a goddam thing worth watching. 

He didn’t want to watch television anyway. 

He wanted something else entirely.

He swung his legs off the sofa, stood up and padded into the kitchen, where he stood in front of the open refrigerator, shuffling things around, unable to find anything that appealed to him.  He slammed the door shut and walked over to Gelby’s cage.  Upon seeing him, she left her perch and hung on the bars, chirping at him.  He brought his face close to her and she nibbled his lips. 

Her kisses were nice but he wanted something more.

 

He prowled past the bathroom door where he heard the sounds of Lucrezia’s showering.  He went into his bedroom and stretched out on the bed, grinding his hips in restless frustration.  He arose and went back into the kitchen where he got a beer from the refrigerator and rubbed the ice-cold bottle over his neck and chest.

He felt on fire.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lucrezia emerge from the bathroom, her hair wet and her little body wrapped in a thin rose-pink bathrobe, and go into the master bedroom. 

He hated that she only entered there to tend herself and dress.  She refused to return to his bed.  Their bed. 

She must.  She must return.  He must talk to her.  Convince her to come back to him.  Tell her that without her, he was bereft.  Desolate. 

 

He walked over to the bedroom door and opened it.

 The room was draped in velvet darkness but for a shaft of sunlight glimmering through the window, pooling into a lambent cylinder around Lucrezia where, naked, her mouth set into a preoccupied pout, she slowly, languidly slid her hands over her breasts and belly, rubbing them with cocoa butter, anointing herself with the fragrant cream.  She stood with her head tilted back, her eyes closed, her radiant gold hair cascading over her flawless shoulders and back.  Her body was lush, arms and legs voluptuous, her breasts full and heavy, their perfect ivory roundness patterned with blue veins, the nipples dark and prominent.  Her belly was ripe and taut, with a tiny blonde pelt that adorned the bewitching gateway to her secrets.

 He froze, his hand gripping the doorknob until his knuckles turned white, his mouth open, his throat constricted.  She was, quite simply, the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.  Scarcely breathing, he stared at her, watched her small hands slide over the luscious flesh of her breasts, over the round, full oval of her belly, up and around and over and down, slowly, lazily, indolently.

As if sleepwalking, as if in a dream, he approached Lucrezia and came up behind her, circling his arms around her, covering her hands with his as they glided over her satin skin.

She started to speak, but he shushed her gently and kissed her, kissed her neck and her shoulder and her throat.  She leaned back against his chest, moaning softly as he guided her hands over her belly and down between her thighs.

“Beautiful.  So beautiful,” he whispered.

“Cesare, Cesare, no…” she murmured half-heartedly, but allowing him to continue to caress her.

“You’re so beautiful.  I love you.  Let me.  Let me.”

“No, Cesare.  Stop.  Don’t look at me.  I’m…”

“Beautiful.  More beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen.  You’re a goddess.  Let me worship you.”

“You can’t want me.  Men don’t want pregnant women.”

“This one does,” he breathed against her throat.  “I want you.”

He turned her to face him and dropped to his knees, pressing his lips to her belly, glistening from the body cream.  His hands cupped her smooth buttocks and pulled her closer.  His mouth moved downward, to the silky little golden patch that proclaimed her womanhood. 

“Oh, Cesare!”  Lucrezia grasped a handful of his dark hair.

He delicately spread her cleft, pink as a rosebud, and began to tease her clitoris with his warm, wet tongue.  His lips felt soft, thrilling on her quivering muff.  She remained skeptical that he could actually be enjoying what he was doing until she heard him groan with pleasure as he savored her.  She reached down and caressed his cheek. 

“You _like_ this?” she whispered.

“Love it,” he replied, his words muted against her. 

He stood then, pulling her close and kissing her, his lips sticky and coated with her juice.  He took her by the hand and led her to the bed, sitting her down on the side.  Standing near her, he unbuckled his belt and pushed his jeans down.  Lucrezia gazed, fascinated, as he stepped out of them.  Before he removed his underwear, he paused.

“Are you scared, Baby?  If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to,” he assured her.

“Oh, I want to.  I’ve wanted to for so long.  All my life, really.”

“You have?  So have I, Baby.  Let’s not wait another moment.”

She reached for him eagerly, tugging at his boxer briefs, stripping them away.

“Can I touch you this time?” Lucrezia asked softly.

“Please.  I want you to.”

With a squeak of delight, she leaned her cheek against his stomach and contemplated his shaft, which had become marvelously, achingly erect.  She rubbed him with careful, tender fingers. 

“Where should I touch you?”

“All over, Baby.  But especially here…”  He guided her hand. “Oh, yeah!  Just like that.  Just like that.”

Emboldened by his soft moans of appreciation, she smiled.

“Teach me, Cesare.  Show me what to do for you.”

“I will.  We will. But this time is for you.  I want you to know what it’s supposed to feel like.  What _love_ feels like.”

“Are you sure you don’t think I’m…ugly?  Pregnant, and all?”

“Honey, you are truly the most beautiful woman in the world.  You always were and you always will be.”

“I wish you had gotten me pregnant.”

“Baby…”

“Make love to me.  Come inside me so I can pretend it was you.”

“Oh, Lucrezia…I love you so much!”

“Then it will really feel like it’s _our_ baby.”

“It is, Honey.  Right from the beginning, it was _our_ baby.”  He stroked her silky hair.  “You and me together, as we always have been.  Just us two.”

“Dad will have a conniption about us keeping the baby.”

“Let him.  Don’t be afraid.”

“I won’t be if you’re with me.”

He bent down to kiss her upturned face, his tongue tasting her lips.  He gently leaned her back on the bed, standing between her parted thighs, and lowered his torso over hers, propped up on his extended forearms.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Baby, so this might be the best way to do this right now.  You won’t have all my weight on your belly.”

Her eyes soft and guileless, she gazed up at him.

“I trust you,” she whispered.

He swallowed hard and reached down between their bodies, grasping his cock, rubbing it over her sweet gateway, warm and wet and inviting.

“Tell me if this hurts you.”  _I’ll die if I hurt you._

He introduced the tip into her, watching for her reaction.  She closed her eyes and sighed with delight.

“Oh, Cesare.  More.”

He gave her more.  And a little more.  Her arms went around him.  He brought one hand to her breast and fondled it, tracing his thumb over the nipple, which stood up hard and wanting.  She locked her ankles behind his legs, her breathing beginning to race.

“I love you, Baby.  I want to make you happy.”  _God, how I want to come right now.  But it’s too soon.  I need to give her more time.  Make her feel good.  Make her feel loved._

His thrusts were slow and gentle, causing her to blissfully coo as he filled her vault.  He kissed her throat and her parted lips, murmuring words of love into her mouth.  _She’s really into this.  But is she ready?  I’m so ready.  But I can’t come.  Not yet._

Lucrezia’s hands slid down his back, her thighs grasped his hips.

“I’m gonna come,” he rasped hoarsely.  “I just have to.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” she moaned.  “Now.  I want you to.  Now.  Give it to me.”

He lowered himself gingerly onto her belly, still bearing most of his weight upon his forearms.  Now sure that he was not hurting her, he gave free rein to his passions and plunged into her, bucking like a young stallion, groaning with each exhalation.  Lucrezia’s eyes widened with astonishment as his cock swelled even bigger and then suddenly twitched.  She felt him come.  One spurt, then another, then another.  He let out an incoherent cry, then collapsed onto her and pulled her over onto her side so that they faced each other, still locked together.

_I’ve never come like that before.  Never felt so completely, overpoweringly fulfilled._

He tightened his embrace, kissing her lips and her eyes and her cheeks.

“My Baby,” he whispered, his breath still coming in gasps.  “I love you.  I love you.”

She snuggled against him, kissing his chest.

“Did you like it?  Was I okay?”

“Okay?  Oh, Honey!  I can’t begin to tell you.  But did you like it?”

“You were wonderful.  You felt so good.  So big.  You made me feel all full and good and happy.”

“I know you didn’t come this time, but this is all new.  We’ll learn together how best to please you.”

“You mean, there’s more for me to feel?”

“My sweet Baby.  More and more and more.”

He withdrew from her and fetched tissues, wiping himself off and then seeing to her.  They stretched out on the bed and he laid his hand gently on her belly.

“When a man comes,” he explained, “he…um…ejaculates his semen into his lover.  That’s what’s leaking out of you now.  My semen.”

“I don’t want it to leak out.  I want to keep it inside me.”

“It won’t all leak out.  A lot will stay behind.”

She smiled contentedly. 

“I’m glad you leave me with something of you to carry around.  I want to have it inside me all the time.  Like, our secret symbol of our bond.”

He chuckled.

“Wouldn’t you rather have something like a neck charm that we can both wear?”

“No.  This is much more meaningful to me.  Much more powerful.  Your very essence that I hold inside of me.”

Overwhelmed with love, he leaned forward and kissed her, draping his leg over hers.

“My Baby,” he murmured. “Mine.”


	6. Jana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein secrets are hinted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jana is the ancient Roman goddess of secrets, mysteries and hidden things.

Cesare learned that, in order for him to give Lucrezia an orgasm, he had to completely cocoon her with his body, envelop her.  Her favorite lovemaking position was lying beneath him, her arms stretched above her head, her wrists gripped by his big hand.

“Baby, are you sure you want me to hold you like this?  Aren’t you scared of feeling trapped, especially after what happened to you?”

“I could never be scared of you, Cesare.  I need to feel that I belong to you completely.  That you’re powerful and strong and have me all wrapped up in you.  I’m safe as long as you’ve got me.  Only you, though.  Nobody else but you.”

“If that’s what you want, then, of course, that’s what we’ll do.  But I don‘t want you to feel that I’m taking possession of you, that I own you.”

“You do own me.  You do possess me.  At least, that’s how I need to feel.”  She locked her eyes with his.  “Make me yours, Cesare.  Keep me yours.”

He traced his finger tenderly along her lips.

“Oh, my Baby…”

 

It was terrible, really.  Horrible, that she had been so traumatized that she now clung to him as her shepherd, her guardian.  Perhaps, if he gave her what she asked for right now, coddled her, let her put herself in his hands, she’d get over it in time.  But perhaps he shouldn’t indulge her.  Perhaps he should try to convince her that she needed to confront her fears head on.  It shamed him to admit it, but he liked the role of her protector.  Hell, he gloried in the role.  Isn’t that precisely what he had done for her during her entire lifetime, guarding her, caring for her, guiding her?  Didn’t she look up to him, figuratively and literally, since he towered over by at least a foot?  Always touching each other, sitting with her legs stretched over his on the sofa?  When they were out together, didn’t she cling to him, snuggled under his arm?  Her dependence, her unquestioning trust, gratified him, stoked his ego, expanded his chest with primitive, virile pride.  And in bed?  Her complete submission and trust in him rendered him a conquering warrior.  Sol Invictus.  A colossus bestriding his home and his bed and his woman and his world.  He had never felt more powerful, more sexually charged.  His cock swelled bigger, he came harder and more profusely.  Were she not already pregnant, she most assuredly would have quickly become so.

 

The senior Borgias drove up for a weekend visit, anxious to assess their children’s situation as the time drew nearer for them to return to school.  When Cesare and Lucrezia met them at the door, with smiles and hugs, Vannozza felt her stomach squirm uneasily.  There was something different about them, something in the air.  A barely-detectable scent of…something.  A certain electricity, perhaps, that crackled between them.  What was it?  She didn’t know.

 

Vannozza was unpacking her suitcase and tilted her head quizzically when she noticed that the closet in “Cesare’s” room was practically empty, as were the bureau drawers.

“Lucrezia, where are your brother’s things?  Why aren’t they here in his room?”

“Oh, we moved his clothes temporarily into my room, Mommy.  So you and Daddy could have space for your things.”

“That’s certainly considerate of you, Sweetie, but you didn’t have to move _everything_.  Dad and I only brought enough for the weekend.  Before your father and I return home, we’ll help you move Cesare’s clothes back into his room.”

“Oh, there’s no need for you to trouble yourself.  Really.  Cesare and I will take care of it.”

Vannozza frowned.  It certainly seemed to her like overkill, the way her children had emptied out Cesare’s room for the comfort and convenience of their parents, but it was their choice to do so.  Still…Vannozza’s stomach squirmed.

 

As Lucrezia stood at the kitchen counter preparing dinner for the family, Cesare came up behind and slipped his arms around her.

“Whatcha cooking?”

“Chopping onions, for the salad.”

“Onions.  Then I’d better kiss you now.”

He bent, his mouth pressing tenderly to her soft cheek. 

“I love you, Baby,” he whispered.

Vannozza, entering the kitchen just in time to see the kiss, frowned.  Oh, those two!  Always fussing over each other.  At least this time, they weren’t kissing each other on the lips.  Still…Vannozza’s stomach squirmed.

 

Lucrezia, holding a pitcher of water, went around the dining table refilling glasses.  When Cesare handed her his empty glass, his hand touched Lucrezia’s and, their eyes locking, they exchanged gentle, intimate smiles. 

Vannozza frowned.  There was certainly something different between her children.  She couldn’t put a finger on it, but, again, her stomach squirmed.

 

Rodrigo stood up from the sofa.

“Cesare,” he declared, in a voice that brooked no refusal. “How about we go for a drive and you show me around your neck of the woods?  Let the women have some ‘girl time’ together.”

“Sure, Dad.  Let me get my car keys.”

 

Although Cesare wondered briefly how much his father could see of the neighborhood at night, he soon realized that sightseeing was the last thing on his father’s mind.

“How about you buy me a beer, son, and we have a little talk?  Do you know of any quiet place nearby?”

“Well, I haven’t been frequenting bars since Lucrezia and I moved in together, but there’s this one I pass by occasionally that seems nice enough.  We’ll go there.”

They entered a homey neighborhood tavern and seated themselves in a high-backed wooden booth.  Their pretty server flashed a wide and winning smile at Cesare, who completely ignored her.  Cesare seemed uncomfortable, out of his element.

Rodrigo pondered.  Cesare Borgia not frequenting bars?  Ignoring the flirtations of fresh-faced girls?  Cesare Borgia keeping himself close to home, in almost servile attendance upon his sister? 

“What’s with you, boy?  I hardly know you.  You’ve become such a wuss.”

“Wuss?  Why am I a wuss?”

“You barely know what the inside of a bar looks like anymore.  A pretty girl smiles at you and you don’t even see her.  All you seem to want to do is hang around at home, waiting on your sister like she’s an empress and you’re her servant.  What’s happened to you?  Where’s your manhood?”

_Dad, if only you knew how this ‘wuss’ has been servicing Lucrezia between the sheets, you’d not be in doubt of my manhood._

“Well, Dad, I feel I owe it to my sister to take care of her.  After all, she was…”

“I know.  I know.  It happened on your watch.”

“What do you really want to say?”

“I want to know what you’re doing about securing justice for your sister.”

“Justice?  You mean revenge.  What my sister cares about most right now is having the baby.  Revenge is hardly uppermost in her mind.”

“Well, it should be in yours.  If you’re any kind of a man…”

“Do you think that by impugning my manhood, you’ll goad me into taking action before I’m ready?”

“Well, then, give me some idea of just when you will be ready.  All these months, you’ve been tap dancing around, blowing smoke up my ass about what you’re doing or planning on doing.  So I’m asking you point blank.  What have you done up to now?  What do you intend to do?  When will you do it?”

“What do you want me to do?”

“You say you know who did this.”

“I said I have a pretty good idea.”

“What’s his name?”

Cesare hesitated, then let out a breath.

“Rafe Padgett.”

“Why do you suspect him?”

“Because he gave Lucrezia a drink while I had gone to the bathroom.  I confronted him at the time but he swore he had just given her some ginger ale.”

“Have you confronted him since then?”

“No.  Lucrezia begged me not to.”

“And you gave in to her.  What would she know of how a man thinks? Of a man’s need for vengeance?  You let her muzzle you like a lapdog.  Where is your self-respect?”

“My self-respect is fine, thank you.  It’s _your_ respect that I seem to be lacking.”

“How can I feel any differently than I do?  Your sister has been assaulted.  You know who did it.  What have you done to avenge our family?

“The crime was committed against her.  Not against me.  Not against you.”

“Against our _family_ , Cesare.  Our family.  We are Borgias.  We are one.  What hurts one of us, hurts all of us.  If you don’t believe that, then you are no son of mine.”

Cesare’s mouth tightened.

“What about Lucrezia, Dad?  Will you repudiate her too?  For disgracing the family with her pregnancy?”

“It’s not her fault.  Women are weak.  We men have to be strong for them.  Protect them.  You were derelict in your duty to her.  Now you have to avenge her.”

Cesare’s face flamed.

“Is that how you see it?  That only by taking revenge can I expiate my guilt in your eyes?”

“Men and women have their roles, son.  Women are passive and men are active.”

“Damn, you’re hidebound.”

“Look, Cesare.  It’s nice that you’re caring for your sister.  Meeting her needs.  But while you’re playing house with her, that little prick who brutalized her is going about his merry way, happy as can be.  Doesn’t that infuriate you?  It should.  If you’re any kind of a man.”

Cesare sighed.

“I am, Dad.  I am a man.”

“Show me.”

 

Vannozza took her daughter’s hand as they sat side by side on the couch.

“How are you feeling, Sweetie?  Are you getting enough sleep?”

“Oh, I am, Mom.  I go to bed at ten o’clock almost every night.  Cesare makes sure of it.”

“And you’re eating properly?”

“I sure am.  Cesare grocery shops with me and only lets me buy healthy food.  He goes with me to my doctor appointments and the gym and monitors my weight so carefully.  I’ve haven’t even gained ten pounds so far.”

“Don’t you get annoyed that he’s so strict with you?  Who is he to be telling you what to do?  After all, he’s not your father.”

“How could I ever be mad at Cesare?  He tells me what to do because he cares about me.”

“What happens if you disagree with him?  Say that you don‘t feel like going to the gym one day.  Then what would happen?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of contradicting Cesare.  If he says to go to the gym, I go to the gym.  If he says I have to eat an egg for breakfast, I eat an egg.”

“Well, I’m amazed.  What happened to my bullheaded little girl who always had a mind of her own?”

“I guess I wised up, Mom.  I realize now that I should have listened to you, because you always had my best interests at heart.  Just like Cesare does.”

“Well, don’t forget, soon this will all be behind you and you can come home and take up right where you left off.  Go back to school, start to go out with friends, maybe even date some boys.”

“No, Mommy.  It will never be the same.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I’m keeping my baby.”

Vannozza stiffened.  “Lucrezia!  No!  I thought we had all agreed that it’s best for you to give it up for adoption.  You’re just too young to be a mother.  And your own father would never stand for it, you raising a child as an unwed mother in his house.”

“I know that.  Cesare and I will work things out together.”

“You and your brother?  Cesare wants this too?”

“He knows that giving up the baby would destroy me.”

“Lucrezia, what happened to you is a tragedy.  But you’re saying that you and your brother intend to spend the rest of your lives carrying the consequences of it.”

“The ‘consequences’ is a living, breathing baby, Mom.  My baby.”

“You would expect your brother to sacrifice his life for you?”

“No, I don’t expect him to.  He insists upon it.  I was prepared to give the baby up.  I really was.  But Cesare won’t hear of it.  He understands me.  He knows it would kill me to part with the baby.”

“Neither of you has any idea what you’re taking on.  You’re both young.  Idealistic.  You seem to have this vision of a perfect, happy little family that you’re going to have.  But that’s not reality.  You’re each going to want your own lives.  Your own spouses and children.”

“Cesare thinks of the baby as his.  He’s been at my side through this whole thing.”

“He feels guilty, Lucrezia.  He feels that you were…raped, because of his negligence.  Maybe he thinks that sticking by you is his penance.”

Lucrezia hissed a breath through her teeth.

“You just don’t understand, Mom.  You don’t know how it is between us.”

Vannozza’s stomach squirmed anew.  She forced her voice to be calm.

“Then tell me.”

“Cesare and I have always been close.  I don’t need anyone else but him.  He’ll take care of me and my baby.”

“But what about him?  What about what he needs?”

“He tells me I am all he needs.”

“You couldn’t possibly understand what your brother needs.  Cesare is a man, a young man.  He has needs which you cannot ever meet.”

“Like what, Mom?  Sexual needs?  I have them too.”

“You’re a girl, Lucrezia.  Little more than a child.  You can’t begin to compare his needs with yours.”

“If you’re judging me by your own self, don’t.  I’m not you.”

“Someday Cesare is going to want to have his own family, and you will too.”

“Never.  I’ll never love anyone like I love Cesare.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.  You seem to have this pretty picture in your head of you and Cesare and a baby, all living together in blissful harmony, but, let me tell you, life is tough.  Caring for a baby is tough.  What will you live on?  And even if you solve all those logistical problems, you have to face the fact that you will never be a real family.”

“What is a ‘real family,’ Mom?”

“A husband and wife and their children.  Not a brother saddled with his sister and her dubious offspring solely out of guilt.”

“That’s enough, Mom.  It won’t be like that.  Cesare and I are not just any brother and sister.  You can’t judge us by the usual standards.  What we have is…”

“Is _what_ , Lucrezia?  What are you saying?”

“That what Cesare and I feel for each other is beyond your understanding.”

“You’re making it sound as if you and your brother are…unnatural.”

“You’re making something beautiful sound like something dirty.”

“Why is Cesare so set on you keeping the baby?  Lucrezia, are you lying about what really happened to you?  Is your brother the father of your baby?”

Trembling with rage, Lucrezia stood up.

“How dare you?  Even though you’re my mother, how dare you?  I was _raped_.  I woke up naked and bleeding after someone slipped me a knockout drug and somehow got into the room where I was.  I don’t know how they did that.  I don’t know anything, except that I absolutely, positively was raped.  How could you think for a minute that we would lie to you about what happened to me?  Cesare was sick over it.”

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart.  Forgive me.  This whole situation is so stressful, so emotional.  I only want what’s best for my children.”

“Well, let your children judge for themselves what’s best for them.”

“You’re so young, Lucrezia.  Too young for all this.”

“Cesare and I will make things right.  It’s what he wants.  What I want.”

“I know you and your brother have always been especially close.  I’ve never seen another pair of siblings like you two.  I should be glad you care about each other so much.”

“Dad always preaches about family.  How family should stick together.  That’s what Cesare and I are doing, Mom.  Just what Dad always taught us.”

“Of course.  I guess I lost sight of that.”

“You look drained, Mom.  How about I go get us a nice cool drink?  I’ll be right back.”

Vannozza smiled weakly.  “Thank you, Honey.”

Lucrezia rose and went into the kitchen.  Vannozza heard her daughter’s cheerful voice as she made kissing sounds to Gelby, who began to chirp in response.

“Cesare, Cesare, Cesare.”

Vannozza froze.

“Cesare, Cesare, Cesare.”

Her eyes widened in horror and she covered her ears with her hands.  It was unmistakable.

“Cesare, Cesare, Cesare.”

A mantra.  A chant.  A woman crying out beneath her lover.


	7. Mars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein is conducted guerrilla warfare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mars is the Roman god of war, second only to Jupiter in status.

Cesare was aware that Rafe Padgett, as a member of the University track team, would be back at school before the majority of the student body, and that he would be spending a lot of time training at the campus gymnasium.  It was about a mile on foot between there and the fraternity house.  Quietly, unobtrusively, Cesare observed the routes Rafe typically traveled over several days and formulated his plan. 

 

Assuring Lucrezia that Gelby would be just fine if they left her alone for a day or two, Cesare bundled his sister into his car and drove home for a mid-week visit to their parents shortly before his classes began.

“She has plenty of food and water, and her cage is freshly cleaned.  I’ve left the radio on for her.  She won’t even know we’re gone.  We’ll have to arrive home at night so nobody sees you, though.  Mom and Dad would die if any of the neighbors saw ‘your condition.’”

“Are you ashamed of me, Cesare?” Lucrezia asked haltingly.

“Ashamed?  Good lord, no.  It makes me proud when people think we’re an expectant married couple.”

“Were you pleased when the sonogram showed we’re having a boy?”

“I just want him to be healthy, Honey.  I’d have been happy with a girl too.  A little princess, just like you.”

“You’re sure you’ll be able to love him?”

“I already do.  I love you, so of course I love your baby.”

She snuggled close to him, resting her head on his shoulder.  

 “I want to name him after you.”

“I’d rather we didn’t do that.”

“Why not?  I love you.”

“I know, but, honestly, I’d rather not.  He should be his own person.”

“Then pick a name you like.”

“Really?  You want me to name him?  Well, how about ‘Alexander?’”

“I love it.  It’s perfect.”  Lucrezia laid her hand on her belly.  “You hear that, Alexander?  That’s your name.”

 

It was shortly before midnight when Cesare and Lucrezia arrived at the family home.  Cesare asked his father to join him for a nightcap while the women went to bed.  He noticed that his mother seemed cool and distant when she said goodnight, and filed that observation away in his head for later consideration.  Having handed his father a glass of whiskey, neat, Cesare slammed a newspaper down on the coffee table in front of him.

“Here.  Read this.” He jabbed his index finger at an article headlined “ _University Student Victim of Brutal Beating on Campus.”_

Rodrigo looked up, startled.

“What is this?”

“What you wanted.  Read the damn thing, will you?”

An article in the college town newspaper reported a vicious assault upon one, Rafe Padgett, 20, a university student and member of the track team.  He was attacked while returning to his fraternity house from a workout at the campus gym.  Robbery appeared to be the motive, since his Movado wrist watch and wallet were taken.  The chief of campus police was quoted as stating “He must have tried to put up a fight rather than give up his possessions.  He’s an athletic young man, but was just overpowered.  There may have been more than one assailant.”  The victim had no memory of the incident.  He remained hospitalized with significant injuries, one of which, a badly broken ankle, could cost him his track scholarship if he was unable to resume participation with the team. 

 

Rodrigo’s eyes lit up and he grinned with delight.

“I take it this was your handiwork?”

Yeah.  I dragged my poor exhausted sister home so I could show you in person.  Happy now?”

“Tell me.  Tell me everything.”

“The campus was deserted.  No moon.  I ambushed him in the dark behind a building.  Wore black clothes and a balaclava and thick gloves and heavy boots.  Used a two by four to knock him out with a hard blow to the head and then kicked and stomped the shit out of him while he was down.  Didn’t use my hands, so they wouldn’t be bruised or cut.  Took his valuables and got the hell out of there.  Kept the gloves on but changed into sneakers that I had tied around my waist and then walked to my car and drove around.  Threw the two by four onto a woodpile on the side of a house about four miles away from campus and tossed the watch and wallet into the river from a pier where people go to feed ducks.  Pitched the balaclava and gloves into two separate dumpsters behind restaurants in two different locations.  The boots I brought home with me.  Thought I’d discard them in the big incinerator at the dump outside of town.”

“What did you tell your sister?”

“That I had gone for a long jog.”

Rodrigo sat back in his chair with a satisfied smirk.

“Well, aren’t you a chip off the old block?  Very clever.  Very clever, indeed.  Tell me.  How did it feel to thrash that little Padgett bastard?  Did it feel good?”

“It might have felt better if I had been able to tell him who I was and why I was clobbering him.  As it is, there’s no reason to suspect me in the assault. Rafe and I hadn’t exchanged words since the night of the party.  I never threatened him or called him out in any way.  No paper trail, no phone calls, no emails.  No history of bad blood between us.”

“You apparently hurt him very badly.”

“I’m surprised I didn’t fracture his skull with the two by four.”

“You sound as if you wouldn’t have cared if you had killed him.”

“Would you have cared?”

“Only in so far as the consequences to you, if you were to be implicated.”

“As well hung for a sheep as for a lamb, right?  Juries may be sympathetic to the man who raised a hand against his sister’s rapist.  Anyway, I took care to cover my tracks.”

“Indeed you did, son.  I’m proud of you.  What will you do next?”

“What?”

“Well, you’re not done, surely.  Not until the whole fraternity is destroyed.  The organization which harbored that piece of filth.  Accepted him as a member.”

“They accepted me too, Dad.”

“They are beneath you.  Beneath the dignity of a Borgia.”

“You demanded that I join that fraternity, Dad.  That specific one.  The one to which you had belonged.”

“Well, obviously the organization has changed.  Been corrupted.  It must be obliterated.”

“Look, Dad.  Lucrezia got very upset when she heard about Rafe.  I hid the newspaper from her, but she heard it on the TV news.  As far as she knows, he’s just some nice boy who was a gentleman and got her a drink.  Fortunately, she hasn’t recognized the assault for what it actually is.  She felt terrible about him.  Wanted me to take her to the hospital to see him.”

“Good God!  You didn’t, did you?”

“Of course not.  I told her he was much too injured to receive visitors.  But if something further happens, I hate to think how it would disturb her.”

“What do you think might happen?  A miscarriage?  Well, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it?  Save a lot of trouble.”

Cesare clenched his jaw.  Rodrigo’s eyebrows shot up.

“Well, wouldn’t it?  Save your sister the bother of these next few months and the trial of giving birth to a child that she’s merely going to give away anyhow.”

_Mom obviously hasn’t told him.  Well, I won‘t either.  Now isn’t the time._

“A miscarriage at this stage wouldn’t be fun either, Dad.  Lucrezia’s soon going into her third trimester.”

“How do you know so much about this?”

“I make it my point to know.  I care about my sister.”

“Do you care enough to exact justice for her?”

“Your idea of justice is different from hers.”

“That fraternity is a nest of vipers.  It must be cleansed.”

_Cleansed.  How?  With fire, perhaps?_

“Well, Dad, that’s going to have to wait a bit.  Another incident right on top of this one might look too suspicious.  I don’t want the cops seeing a pattern and start sniffing around.”

“Right.  Quite right.  We must be patient.  As long as it happens sometime.”

“Well, you know how the old saying goes:  ‘Revenge is a dish best served cold.’”

Rodrigo chuckled.

“Now you’re talking like a Borgia!”

Vannozza was subdued and withdrawn as she prepared breakfast the next morning.  She reacted to Cesare’s kiss on her cheek by stiffening her entire body and did not respond at all to Lucrezia’s hug. 

“Thanks for taking care of Fishy, Mom,” Lucrezia smiled.

“Oh.  Sure.”

“Is it a lot of trouble for you?”

“No.”

“Mom, are you feeling okay?  You’re so quiet.”

“I’m fine.”

 

Cesare and Lucrezia began their return drive as soon as it got dark.

“What was bugging Mom, Cesare?”

“I have no idea.  She sure was acting strangely, though.”

“I tried to talk to her, and asked her if something was wrong.  If she was upset about something.  She just gave me the most peculiar look, as if she wanted to say ‘Don’t you know?’  But I don’t know.  I didn’t want to tell you this, but when she and Dad last came to visit us, she actually accused me of lying about having been raped.  She asked me in so many words if _you_ were the father of my baby.”

“Jesus Christ, Honey!  She asked you that?  I’m so sorry.  I wish you had told me at the time.”

“I didn’t want to upset you.  Do you suppose she suspects that you and I are sleeping together?”

“Sounds like she may have some inkling.”

“Could she have talked to Dad about it?”

“If she had, I’d be dead by now.”

“Cesare, don’t make such jokes.  Do you really think Dad would react violently?”

“You know what he’s like.  You’ve seen him in action.”

“I hate the way he treats you.  He’s so awful to you.  And I feel terrible that I’ve always been his little princess.  How can you not hate me?”

“I’ve loved you your entire life.  You were always mine.  My Baby.”

“Well, whatever the two of you talked about last night sure seemed to cheer him up.  He was downright jovial to you.  For once he didn’t seem to have anything to find fault with about you.”

Lucrezia reached over and clasped her brother’s hand.

“I’ll be honest.  I was glad to leave.”

“Me too.  Glad to be going back home.  To our home.”

 

Lucrezia was lying in bed when Cesare came from the bathroom to join her.  He stretched out alongside her and laid his head on her shoulder.

“Oh, Cesare,” Lucrezia murmured, her voice filled with wonder. “Feel.  The baby’s moving.”

She caught his hand and placed it low on her belly.  He locked eyes with her. 

“I felt it,” he whispered.  “Our baby.”

“Ours, Cesare?”

“Ours,” he replied flatly. 

Her eyes luminous with tenderness, she smiled at him then, wistfully, magically. 

“Lucrezia,” he whispered.  “You’re so beautiful.  I love you.”

“I’m yours,” she whispered against his lips. “Make love to me.”

He gently laid his hand on her rounded belly.

“Might I hurt you?  Are you sure we can…?”

“We can,” she whispered breathlessly.  “We must.  If we don’t, I’ll die.”

He chuckled and caressed her flushed cheek.

“I won’t let you die.  Unless it’s to die of pleasure.”

 

“How much longer are you going to wait, Cesare?”

Rodrigo’s voice on the telephone was loud and coarse.

“Dad, have you been drinking?”

“Damn right I’ve been drinking.  You would too, if you were me.  My daughter violated, pregnant with the spawn of some rapist, and my son, my powder puff of a son won’t do a goddam thing about it.”

“Dad, I told you.  I’m waiting for the right time.  It won’t do to act too soon after…”

“Well, when, goddammit? “

“If you don’t like what I’m doing, how about you do it yourself?  There’s a thought.”

“You son of a bitch.  Don’t you dare get smart with me!  I still control the purse strings, you know.  I could cut you off in a second.  What would you do then?  I’ve made it too goddam easy for you.  You never had to struggle like I did.  Never had to hustle and work your fingers to the bone.  You’ve always lived like a prince.  All your fucking life.  All you’ve ever had to do was wave a credit card around, and I got the bills.  If I were there with you right now, I’d show you a thing or two.  Why, I’d…”

Cesare sighed and put the phone down.  Rodrigo would go on for some time yet. 

“…And how would you take care of that sister of yours then?  What could you do for her?  How could you support her?  The only job you could get right now would be asking people if they wanted fries with that.  See how delicate her sensibilities would be if she were turned out on the street and starving to death.  She’d have to come home, that’s what.  Then see if she wouldn’t abort that little bastard!"

Cesare snatched up the phone and shouted into it, cutting his father’s tirade.

“Don’t threaten Lucrezia, Dad.  I don’t give a shit what you say to me, or how you think of me.  But do not, _do not ever_ , threaten my sister.”

Cesare’s tone, icy, baleful, malignant, stopped Rodrigo in his tracks.  He sputtered.

“You know I’d never hurt Lucrezia.  But I’m impatient and frustrated.”

“And drunk.”

“I want justice for your sister.  Nothing more than justice.”

“And you’ll get it.  But in the right time.”

“Don’t you want justice for her too?  After all, you’re her loving brother.  You’ve always taken up for her.”

_Damn!  Hasn’t he changed his tune?  Typical bully.  Stand up against them and they turn tail._

“I always have and I always will.  But unless you want me to go off half-cocked and make stupid mistakes that get me caught and sent to prison, you’ll have to back off and let me do things my way.  You’ll have to trust me.”

“I do, son.  I do.  But you don’t let me in on your plans.  I get anxious.”

“I don’t want you to know anything.  Deniability.  It’s important that you have that.  I’ll get things done.  I will.  You have my word.”

“I know, son.  I believe you.  You know I’d never hurt Lucrezia,” he repeated.  “Or you either.  I’m proud of you.  You know that, don’t you?  That I love you?”

Cesare closed his eyes and drew a breath.

“Sure, Dad.  I know.”

 

The fire that engulfed the fraternity house was so intense that it consumed the building.  Beginning in the basement, it burned for some considerable time before it was discovered.  By then, it was ferocious, resisting the efforts of firefighters to control it.  The fire marshal determined that the blaze had started in a basement clothes dryer, when a sock inadvertently became caught in the drum spindle, causing it to overheat.  Among the rubble of the house, investigators found the charred bodies of three young fraternity brothers.  Autopsies determined that they had died of smoke inhalation. 


	8. Eileithyia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein occur emotional events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eileithyia is the Greek goddess of childbirth

“Cesare, did you see?  It made the national news.”

Rodrigo’s voice quivered with excitement.

“Now isn’t a good time to talk on the phone, Dad.”

“Come for a visit.  Your mother needs some cheering up.”

“Lucrezia isn’t up to such a long drive.”

“Then we’ll come to your…”

“Or company either.  She’s feeling pretty crappy right now.  Having trouble sleeping, unable to get comfortable.”

“Well, all right, son.  But I just had to let you know how proud of you I am.”

_You’re proud that I am now a fucking murderer._

 

Something was wrong with Vannozza.  Even Rodrigo, the most obtuse of husbands, noticed. 

She seemed always preoccupied, always on the verge of tears.  She jumped when he came up behind her.  Her eyes glazed over when he spoke to her.  She never answered his questions, never even heard them.

He brought her flowers.  Took her out to dinner.  And, in the ultimate sacrifice, he placed the television remote into her hand.

When she ran her car off the road and into a phone pole coming home from the grocery store one Saturday morning, an alarmed Rodrigo knew he had to act.

Vannozza’s attending doctor in the emergency room assured him that she was not gravely injured.

“She was wearing her seat belt and the airbag deployed, which saved your wife from serious injury.  She has some bumps and bruises, and we want to take a few xrays just to be sure that we haven’t missed anything.  But if all goes as we expect, we’ll release her into your care today.”

Vannozza lay in her bed in the hospital room, a small, wan figure lost among the linens and blankets, her shoulders quaking with her weeping.

“My God, Vannozza!” Rodrigo exclaimed as he rushed to her side. “My angel.  What happened to you?”

“I wrecked the car,” she wailed.  “I’m so sorry.  It’s probably totaled.”

“I don’t care about the car, Sweetheart.  I care about you.  Are you in pain?  Do you need anything?”

“To go home.  I want to go home.”  Her tears flowed afresh.

“I’ll take you home, Sweetheart.  The doctor says you just need a few xrays and then you’ll be released.  But Vannozza, we must talk.  I’m not the most perceptive of husbands, of men, but even I can’t ignore that you’re troubled.  You’re distracted.  Preoccupied.  What has you upset to the point that now it’s endangering you?  Tell me, please.”

“Oh, Rodrigo, I’m so sorry.  I’m being foolish.  Seeing monsters under the bed.”

“You’re an intelligent, sensible woman.  You don’t make things up.  Sweetheart, please.  I’m frantic with worry for you.  Tell me what’s troubling you.”

“It’s the kids, Rodrigo.”

“Well, I figured it had to do with them, as unsettled as you are.  What about the kids?”

“Something I thought I observed when we last visited with them.  You didn’t mention anything at the time, so I figured I was just making something out of nothing.”

“You’re far more attuned to the kids than I am, Vannozza.  What did you see?”

Vannozza bit her lip.

“This is so hard.  You’re going to think I’m being ridiculous.”

“Darling, just say it.  It’s driving you crazy.  Say it.”

“Rodrigo, I got a very strong impression that Cesare and Lucrezia are…are sleeping together.”

“What?  What makes you think such a thing?”

“Little things, Rodrigo.  Looks.  Touches.  The way they relate to each other.  They’ve always been close, but the last time we visited them, it felt different.  I kept denying it to myself until I heard, over and over again, Lucrezia’s little bird chirping out Cesare’s name.  Like a woman would during sex.”

“Jesus, Vannozza!  You accuse our kids of incest because of what you heard a _parakeet_ say?”

“I told you it sounds ridiculous.  But, Rodrigo, a mother knows her children.  There’s a vibe between them.  An electricity.  I’m sure they’ve become lovers.”

Rodrigo sat down on the side of Vannozza’s bed, stunned.

His wife was too young to be going through menopause, wasn’t she?  That couldn’t be her problem, could it?  She’d never shown any signs up until now of being delusional. 

He kissed her gently and went out to speak to Vannozza’s attending nurse, seated at the central station.

“I think my wife needs to talk to a psychiatrist,” he whispered.

 

“I feel so ugly, Cesare,” Lucrezia complained as she lay on the sofa with her legs resting across Cesare’s lap. “So ungainly.  Clumsy.  Big.”

He gently stroked her bare feet with their tiny toes, the nails painted pink. 

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Don’t lie.  I know what I look like.”

“You don’t know what I see.  You’re breathtaking.  A fertility goddess.  Gaia.”

She smiled coyly at him.

“Does that make you Priapus?”

He grasped her hand and, grinning, brought it to his crotch.

“What do you think?”

 

During the seventh month of her pregnancy, Lucrezia was stunned to discover that her breasts were secreting clear fluid. 

“It’s perfectly normal,” her doctor assured Cesare in response to his frantic phone call. “It’s called ‘colostrum.’  Not all women experience this leakage before giving birth, but many do.  She won’t have actual milk until a few days after her child is born, but this fluid will nourish the baby in the interim.”

“Oh.  Cool.”

Lucrezia’s breasts, always a source of delectation to Cesare, now became even more beguiling to him.

 

While Cesare was attending his university class, Lucrezia sat before her computer concentrating intently upon her cyber school lesson.  She looked up momentarily and was dismayed by what she saw through the window.  The ominous grey January sky promised further snow, and the vicious wind blustering through the stark, bare tree branches guaranteed to turn that snow into ice.  Poor Cesare!  He’d be freezing when he got home, and worn-out from driving the slippery roads.  Municipal plows had cleared the snow off the streets and piled it up so high on either side that drivers were not able to see over the walls of the stuff.  “It’s like being a mouse in a maze,” Cesare had remarked to her. “Crazy.  Surreal.”

Lucrezia got up and went into the kitchen to check on the stew she was cooking for dinner.  Ah!  Nice and thick and fragrant with cabbage and carrots and so many other veggies that Cesare enjoyed.  It would go well with the pumpernickel bread that she wanted him to pick up at the bakery.  She knew better, though, than to ask him to bring her favorite thumbprint cookies rolled in chopped nuts.  As difficult as it was for Cesare to say no to her, he had no problem denying her the sweets and other non-nutritious goodies she craved.  Now in her ninth month, Lucrezia had gained twenty-two pounds.  Her face was rounded and rosy, and she glowed with health.  Cesare had been so sweet at the first Prepared Childbirth class they had attended.  So earnest and diligent, taking notes, hovering over her.  “Your husband is darling,” the instructor noted.  “So devoted.”  They were looking forward to the next session in three days’ time. 

Lucrezia stirred the stew with a wooden spoon, silently speculating on whether she could get away with making baked apples for dessert.  All that butter and brown sugar, even without the ice cream that should be served with them.  No, better to stick to orange sections.  She didn’t want to face Cesare’s displeasure.  She put the wooden utensil down onto the ceramic spoon rest and turned away from the stove, and then her water broke.

 

Her voice was shaky when she telephoned Cesare.

“I called the doctor.  I’m to go directly to the hospital.”

“It’s too soon!  You’re not due for another two weeks.”

“Tell that to Alexander.”

 “I’m on my way home now.  Be there in a few minutes.”

“No, Cesare.  Not a few minutes.  Please go slowly.  Drive carefully.  Promise me.”

Her voice rose almost to hysteria.

“Baby.  Don’t get upset.  I won’t speed.”

“Promise me, Cesare.  Swear to me.  You have to be safe.  I’d die without you.”

“Honey.  Calm down.  I promise you…”

“Swear it.  Swear it on everything you hold sacred.”

“You are what I hold sacred.  I swear it on you.  I’ll drive prudently and come home to you safe and sound.”

“Okay.  I’ll pack a bag while I wait for you.  And before we leave for the hospital, I want you to eat.  I made stew.”

“Lucrezia, I don’t need to eat.  I need to get you to the hos…”

“Eat!” she screamed into the phone.  “You need to eat.  Right now.  Keep your strength up.  This might be a good while.”

“All right.  All right.  I’ll eat.”

“Do you have the pumpernickel?”

“Yes.  I already picked it up.”

“Good.  Now hang up and concentrate on the road.  I love you.”

 

Shortly after Lucrezia arrived at the hospital, her doctor induced labor because of her ruptured membranes.  Her eyes filled with tears as the doctor prepared to inject her.

“Why is my baby coming now?  Did I do something wrong?”

“Younger moms like yourself sometimes deliver prematurely, but your baby is only a wee bit early, Mrs. Borgia.  He should be just fine.  We’ll take good care of the both of you.”  He smiled at a tense-faced Cesare, perched on the edge of a chair in the labor room. “And of your husband too.” 

 

Lucrezia began having contractions quickly after the drug was administered. 

Cesare never left her side, holding her hand and wiping her sweaty face with a cool, wet washcloth.  He rubbed her back, rubbed her legs, rocked her in his arms. 

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, Baby.  We only had one childbirth class,” he lamented to her as she struggled with a contraction.

She gripped his hand and puffed her breath, then spoke when the contraction had passed.

“I don’t know what I’m doing either, Cesare, but Alexander seems to.  Just stay close to me, my love.  I need to know you’re here beside me.”

“Always.  I’ll always be here for you and our Alexander.”

Lucrezia smiled wistfully.

“Alexander Borgia.  Our very own baby.  I love you, Cesare.  You make me so happy.”

A young resident in surgical scrubs came in then and announced that he wanted to insert a fetal monitor into the baby’s scalp.

“Things are going fine, Mrs. Borgia, but because your labor was induced, we want to keep a close watch on your baby’s heartbeat.”

“But, in his scalp?  Do you have to?” Cesare questioned.

“It’s in his best interest, and that of your wife, if we do so.  This is her first baby.  We need to know right away if she encounters problems that would make a Caesarean section necessary.”

Reluctantly, Cesare stood aside to let the resident perform the procedure.  Above his surgical mask, the doctor observed, “Your baby has a lot of hair.”

“You can tell that?” Lucrezia asked, amazed.

“Yep.  He’ll be ready to go to the barber when you take him home.”

Cesare laughed nervously. 

 

Cesare had called his parents as he drove home to collect Lucrezia.  Rodrigo left a house key with their neighbor, telling her that they were being summoned away for a few days and would appreciate it if she would feed the goldfish. 

Rodrigo drove carefully, mindful of the icy roads and the encroaching darkness. 

“This is obscene, Vannozza.  We’re making this long trip on hellish roads to be with our daughter as she gives birth to a child she shouldn’t in a million years be having.  Why are we even doing this?”

Vannozza’s huge dark eyes closed momentarily.

“Because Lucrezia needs us.”

Rodrigo gripped her gloved hand. 

“But you don’t need this, Vannozza.  This whole pregnancy drama has made you come unglued.  You’re under psychiatric care.  You shouldn’t be distressing yourself.”

 “Lucrezia is still our daughter.  A child having a child.”

“She should have had an abortion.  I should have insisted on it.”

“Rodrigo, please.  It would have been wrong.  Anyway, it’s much too late to be thinking like that.  Let’s just get there and give our daughter our love.  And our son too.  He’s been carrying the burden of this more than we have.”

 

Alexander Borgia entered the world after a seven-hour labor, to the joy of Cesare and Lucrezia, who reached for him with eager arms.  Being a bit early, he was smallish, but a healthy size nevertheless.  “Six pounds, four ounces, eighteen inches long,” the attending nurse declared.  “His grandparents will be thrilled.”

Lucrezia locked eyes with Cesare.  
“Do you think so?” she asked softly.

 

Delayed by bad road conditions, Rodrigo and Vannozza arrived at the hospital an hour after Alexander’s birth and were directed to their daughter’s room.

Upon hearing them enter, Cesare looked up sharply from where he stood, leaning over Lucrezia with his head touching hers.

“Hi, Mom, Dad.  Glad you got here safely.”

Rodrigo froze in his tracks, astounded to see his daughter lying in her bed, her hospital robe slipped off her shoulder, nursing the infant she held in her arms.

“What in God’s name…?”

Cesare stood, facing his father square on.

“His name is Alexander, Dad.  We’re keeping him.”


	9. Odin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein truth hits the fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Odin, in Norse mythology, is known as "The Allfather," because he is considered the father of all the gods, the divine ancestor.

The roar that erupted from Rodrigo’s mouth was abruptly choked off when, beside him, his wife, with a tiny cry, crumpled to the floor.  Her husband and son both rushed to her.

“Help!” Rodrigo bellowed. “We need help!”

Cesare ran to fetch a nurse, who arrived with two burly orderlies in tow.  They helped Vannozza into a chair and swarmed around her solicitously. 

“I’m all right, really,” she murmured weakly.  “I guess it’s all so overwhelming.”

The nurse, a plump and pretty brunette named Sally, smiled knowingly.

“First grandchild.  I understand. He’s a cutie.  In quite a hurry to come into the world, that one.  Wouldn’t you like to hold him?”

Lucrezia happily surrendered Alexander to the nurse’s capable hands. 

“Here he is, Grandma.  Your new grandson.”

She cheerily deposited the infant, tightly swaddled in a white blanket, into Grandma’s arms.  Vannozza glanced frantically about her, panic-stricken.

“Rodrigo…” she whispered, her throat closing. 

Alexander began to cry, thin little wails.

Cesare snorted and scooped up the newborn, holding him close to his chest.

“I think we’re okay now.” He nodded to Nurse Sally.  “Thank you all for your help.”

“Just use the call button if you need anything,” she encouraged over her shoulder as she and the orderlies departed.

“What do you mean, you’re keeping him,” Rodrigo hissed. “Can’t you see what this is doing to your mother?  Have you no consideration?  Don’t you care at all?”

“Of course we care,” Cesare snapped, placing the baby back in Lucrezia’s arms. “We care about both of you.  We know this is difficult for you, but…”

“Difficult!” Rodrigo shouted.  Alexander began to cry again.

“Difficult,” Rodrigo repeated, but at a much lower volume.  “It’s been hell.  Especially for your mother.  It wasn’t bad enough you and Lucrezia insisted upon her carrying this…child…to term, but now you say you’re keeping it?  I won’t stand for it.”

“Dad, Mom,” Cesare said, in the patient tone one uses when speaking to balky children.  “Would you just look at the baby?  He’s your daughter’s flesh and blood.  He’s your own flesh and blood.  Come on.  Just hold him for a minute.”

Giving his mother time to acclimate herself, Cesare brought Alexander over to her and laid him in her lap. 

“Look at him, Mom.  Please.”

Rodrigo went to stand next to his wife’s chair and the two grandparents carefully studied the infant’s face. 

“Isn’t he wonderful?” Lucrezia coaxed.  “He’s perfect.  He has all his fingers and toes, and such a lovely thatch of dark hair.”

Over the baby’s head, Vannozza raised her eyes to Rodrigo’s and they locked in horror.

 

When the nurse came in to return the baby to the neonatal unit, Rodrigo excused himself to go to the restroom.  Out of his family’s presence, he fulminated, pacing furiously in the waiting room. Those lying, treacherous sons of bitches!  All this time, he had doubted his wife’s judgement.  Thought her delusional.  Nervous breakdown.  Had her seeing a psychiatrist.  His wife!  His beautiful, astute, intelligent wife.  He had actually thought her deranged. 

 

Rodrigo checked himself and Vannozza into a hotel, insisting that his wife needed the quiet to be found there.  “I don’t want her to be disturbed by your parakeet cheeping all night long.”

“We cover her cage at night, Daddy,” Lucrezia objected. “She’s perfectly quiet then.”

“No.  Your mother needs rest.  This is a better arrangement for her.”

Vannozza had a hot bath and fell asleep immediately after crawling into bed.  Rodrigo slipped out and went to the front desk to ask for the location of the nearest large drug store. 

Leaving Vannozza a note saying that he was going for coffee, he drove alone to the hospital early the next morning, before Vannozza awakened.  He didn’t want anyone in the family to see him on this errand, and he knew he might have just this one opportunity.  When Lucrezia brought the baby home from the hospital, she would always be beside him, so this was his only chance.

Rodrigo gazed through the viewing window at all the cribs side by side in the nursery.  He could see the child’s bassinette at the far end and he walked towards the door, attracting the attention of the attending nurse as he did so.

“May I help you?” The nurse opened the unit door and smiled at Rodrigo, who, glancing at her name tag, turned on all of his charm.

“I hope so, my dear.  Lucille.  My name is Rodrigo Borgia, and that adorable child there is my grandson, born yesterday.” He nodded towards Alexander in his crib, sleeping quietly with his astonishing dark hair peeping out from the blue knit cap he wore.  The nurse followed his gaze and smiled.

“A beautiful boy, Mr. Borgia.  But how can I help?”

Rodrigo bent his considerable length to whisper in her ear, his mellifluous voice hypnotic and smooth.

“Lucille, my dear Lucille, could I possibly hold him for five minutes on my own?  I would be so grateful for a few minutes alone to meet him properly, without being told I’m holding him wrong, or having to just watch as my wife takes over.”

The nurse started to look doubtful, and Rodrigo allowed a slight sheen of tears to film his eyes.

“I can show you identification to prove who I am, my dear, and I wouldn’t dream of taking him out of here.” Rodrigo looked round and saw a small seating area beneath a huge plate glass window with a vista across the city. “Let me take him over there, and show him the city.  I can tell him who I am, and how much he means to me.  You will be able to see us the whole time, I promise.”  Rodrigo smiled his most persuasive smile, and the tension fell way from the nurse’s shoulders.

“If you stay where we can see you, Mr. Borgia, I can’t see there will be a problem.  Just get your ID for me while I go and pick up the baby, and I will bring him to you.  I completely understand that fathers and grandfathers can get overlooked in the excitement surrounding a new baby.  I think it’s sweet that you want to meet him by yourself.”  She turned away towards the bassinette and Rodrigo fished his driver’s license from his jacket pocket, making sure as he did so that the small DNA testing kit he had brought was easily accessible for when he had the baby in his arms.

The instructions said a simple cheek swab was all that was required, and the “Premium Service” he had paid top dollar for meant the results would be ready within a few days.  Smiling tremulously for Lucille’s benefit, he took the swaddled baby into his arms and carried him carefully over to the window, keeping his back to the watchful nurse, and cooing and rocking the baby as he walked.

 

Cesare eagerly came to collect Lucrezia and Alexander when they were discharged from the hospital a day later, amid much sotto voce comment from the nurses gathered at their station. 

“Check out that one, will you?  Damn, is he hot!  I’d be glad to let him knock me up.”

“You’d never stand a chance with him.  He likes them way young.  Look at his wife.  The baby isn’t the only one who should be in a cradle.”

“Meow, meow.”

 

 _Wake up.  Wake up carefully_.

Cesare opened his eyes and raised his head from his pillow.  What was that voice that had just now sounded in his head, rousing him from a deep sleep?  Primordial instinct, maybe?

Alexander lay between Lucrezia and himself, having fallen asleep while nursing.  Smiling fondly, Cesare picked the baby up and cradled him against his chest as he stood up out of bed.  He made his quiet way into the living room, settling cross-legged on the sofa with the infant held securely along the length of his arm, his tiny head cupped in his hand.  The baby snuffled and grimaced, then turned his unfocused gaze upon Cesare when he began to speak.

“Hey, little man.  It’s me. You’ll get to know me, buddy.  My voice.  My face.  My scent.  The feel of me when I hold you.  I’m the one you’ll call Dad.  I’ll take you to ball games, push you on the swing, teach you to shoot hoops, feed you candy and then promise not to tell your Mom.  I’ll take care of you, Alexander, I will.  I promise to protect you.  Keep you safe.  I’ll tell you a secret – I really love your Mom, and now I really love you. You’re mine now too. You and your mother, both of you belong to me. Nothing will ever take either of you away from me, I promise. Absolutely nothing. I love you, Alexander.”

The baby made little mewing noises, his tiny hands patting the air.

Cesare drew the infant up against his shoulder and held him gently, closing his eyes and rocking back and forth, his cheek laid softly to the child’s dark-haired head.  Alexander snuggled, his body relaxing against Cesare’s.

“That’s right, Alexander.  Learn to trust me. Learn to have faith in me. Know without any doubt in your mind that anyone who tries to hurt you will have to contend with me.”

“Cesare.”  Lucrezia’s soft voice carried to him. “Did the baby wake you?”

“I’m not sure what woke me,” he replied, looking up at her with a smile. “Something just told me to be careful.  I opened my eyes and found Alexander between us.”

“I brought him to bed to feed him and we both fell asleep.”

“I wanted a moment of my own with the baby.  To let him know how important he is to me.”

“You really love him, don’t you?”

“I do love him.  I’d do anything for him.  Die for him.  Kill for him.”

Lucrezia sat down on the sofa next to Cesare.

“Don’t say things like that.  You sound terrifying.  Ominous and terrifying.”

He placed Alexander in her lap and drew them into his embrace.

“Then I’ll say that I will live for you.  For both of you.  Do anything for either of you.  You’re both mine now.”

Over the baby’s head, Cesare and Lucrezia kissed.

_Mine..._

 

Rodrigo and Vannozza returned home before Lucrezia left the hospital with Alexander. 

“I wish you’d stay,” Cesare coaxed. “Lucrezia could really use your help with the baby.”

“Your mother isn’t up to it,” Rodrigo growled. “She’s exhausted by this whole ordeal.  It should be over and done with now and instead, it’s just advanced to a whole new level.”

“Your sister promised that she’d give the baby up for adoption.  How could she go back on her word?  Did you encourage her?” Vannozza demanded.

“Yeah, Mom, I did.  The whole time she was pregnant, feeling the baby move and kick, she just fell in love with it.  I knew she couldn’t give it up.”

“And what about you, Cesare?”

“Well, I did too.  What kind of a man lives with a woman during her pregnancy, experiences it with her and doesn’t come to love the child she carries?”

“A brother.”

 

Cesare’s cell phone rang in his pocket, and as he fished it out of his jacket, his stomach sank at the name on the display screen.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Cesare, where are you?  I need to speak to you urgently.”

“I’m shopping for things for the baby.  Lucrezia gave me a list of things she needs.”

“I need to speak with you.  In person.  Face to face.  Man to man.”

“I have to get these things first, Dad. Lucrezia is counting on me.” Cesare pulled the cell away from his ear at the bellowing noise his father was making over the phone.

“Dad, calm down. You’ll give yourself a heart attack. I know you aren’t pleased that we’re keeping Alexander, but he is Lucrezia’s baby. It is her choice.”

“A choice she should never have had to make.  A choice for which I blame you.”

“Dad, you know I wasn’t going to try and talk her out of it. I’ll do anything she wants, like I always have. And now she wants me to get her a few items that she needs for the baby.”

“You will make time to see me, boy.  Alone.  I am driving up there as soon as I hang up.  There are some things we need to discuss about this ‘situation’ that cannot be spoken about over the phone.”

“Fine, Dad. Let me finish getting the things for your grandson,” Cesare heard Rodrigo start to splutter again and he continued smoothly, “and then I’ll arrange to get Lucrezia and Alexander out of the house so you and I can speak freely.”

“I don’t want anyone else to know about this.  It is too upsetting for public consumption.”

“Dad, you’re going to have to accept that people will know Lucrezia has a baby. It doesn’t reflect badly on you, on your skills as a parent.  Not in this day and age.”

“I will discuss my ‘skills as a parent,’ as you put it, when we are face to face, Cesare.  And it is not _my_ failings that will be the topic of conversation.”

“Then what will that be?”

“A certain laboratory report which I ordered.  A report on a certain DNA swab.”

Cesare’s blood turned to ice.

“DNA?”

“That’s right.  DNA."

Cesare looked at his phone as his father broke the connection, thinking of his father’s words.  DNA test.  Jesus Christ!  He sighed to himself before looking again at the list Lucrezia had provided.  Where could he buy muslin squares?  What the hell were muslin squares anyway?  He sighed and pressed the app on his phone. Google would know.

 

Rodrigo was surprised when Cesare’s neighbor answered the door to his knock.

“Hi, you must be Mr. Borgia,” the bespectacled, clean-shaven young man greeted him.  “I’m Jesse.  My wife and I live down the hall.  Cesare asked me to let you in and tell you that he was taking Lucrezia and the baby to a lactation class that he just heard about on the internet.  He asked me to let you in and make sure you were comfortable.”

“Do you know when he’ll be back?  I’m in a bit of a hurry.”

“Not sure, sir.  He just said to get you settled in.  Would you like some coffee?  Lucrezia brewed a pot before they left.”

“Yes, thanks.  I had a long, cold drive up here.”

“I hope you didn’t have any trouble finding a parking space in the underground lot beneath the apartment building.  Sometimes it really gets filled up.”

“No.  No trouble.  You needn’t stay with me, Jesse.  I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Okay, well if you’re sure.  Cesare and Lucrezia are the nicest couple.  And that baby!  So cute.  You must be very proud.”

Rodrigo harrumphed.

“Proud.  Yes.  Sure.”

 

From his incessant, impatient rushing to look out the window, Rodrigo had nearly worn a furrow into the carpet by the time Cesare arrived.

“What took you so goddam long?” he demanded to know when his son finally entered the apartment.  “I’ve been waiting here for over an hour and a half.”

“The class was a good distance away.  I had to get gas for the car.  And I stopped at the liquor store for a bottle of your favorite twelve-year old Scotch.  Anyway, I’m here now.  Say what you have to say.”

“What happened to you?  Your coat is dirty.”

“I fell in the snow.  It was filthy.”

“Filthy.  Hah!  An apt word for the business at hand.”

“Let me pour you a drink.  Sounds like you might need it.”

 

Rodrigo was seething when he got behind the wheel of his Mercedes and pulled out of the underground parking garage.  His stomach burned from the copious amounts of Scotch which he had consumed.  Well, he needed that fortification in order to confront his son with the obscene truth.  Now he had to drive home and tell his wife.  He dreaded that conversation even more than he had this one.  Lousy goddam kids!  Monsters!

He shouldn’t have drunk so much Scotch.  Usually he could handle that quantity and more, but today…probably because he was so upset, the booze hit him harder.  His reflexes seemed off.  The brakes felt ‘mushy.’ 

 

Rodrigo Borgia’s car had gone wildly off the road and plunged over a steep hill, where it burst into flames when it hit the ground.  He appeared to have died instantly.


	10. Achlys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein machinations occur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achlys, Greek goddess of The Eternal Night, is the personification of misery

Rodrigo’s funeral had been something of the social event of the local season, drawing hundreds of people who came to pay their respects, both at the funeral parlor and at the Borgia house after the burial. Cesare and Lucrezia had driven with the baby and all his paraphernalia back to their mother’s home for the service. To Vannozza’s humiliation and dismay, Cesare introduced Alexander to their visitors, calmly and matter-of-factly relating the unfortunate circumstances of his conception, and drawing praise both to Lucrezia for her pro-life stance and to himself for his manful shouldering of the burden of caring for his sister and her infant. 

“But, you know, Cesare,” a distant cousin declared earnestly, “The baby looks just like you.”

Cesare laughed lightly, in polite disbelief.

“Do you think so?  I don’t see it.  To me, he looks just like my father.  His grandfather.”

“Well, you are his uncle after all.  But I guess it’s all a matter of random genetics.  My sister has two sons, a year and a half apart.  One boy is five feet nine inches tall and lightly built, like a karate expert.  He looks just like his father.  The other boy is six feet tall and much more robust, like my side of the family.  Two children from the same two parents and they don’t look a bit alike.  So I guess you never know.”

“I guess not.  I think it’s Alexander’s dark hair that fools people.  But, of course, Dad had dark hair too, when he was young.”

 

When the last guest had departed, Cesare closed the door behind them and, with a long exhale, collapsed into an overstuffed chair in the family room.  Lucrezia lowered Alexander into his bassinette and hurried to her brother’s side, lifting his legs onto a leather ottoman.  She knelt and removed his shoes. 

“Baby, what are you doing?” he asked her gently.

“Taking care of you.  You’ve had a rough day.”

“You have too.  He was your father as well as mine.”

“But everyone looked to you to hold things together.  Now let me fuss over you a bit.  Would you like something to drink?  A hot toddy, perhaps?  To warm you up?”

“That would be so nice, Baby.  Thanks.”

Vannozza was already in the kitchen, pouring herself a stiff belt of vodka over ice. 

“Mommy,” Lucrezia gasped in wonder. “Are you drinking?  But I’ve never known you to drink before.”

“Your father’s never been dead before either,” Vannozza spat bitterly.  The drink she was now holding was obviously not her first of the day. 

“Aw, Mommy, I’m sorry.  I know how hard this is.  Why don’t you go join Cesare?  I’ll bring you something to eat.”

Swaying slightly, Vannozza made her way to the family room and sat down heavily on the sofa opposite her son.

“Shall we toast to your father, Cesare?”  Vannozza held up her glass. “May he rest in peace.”

“Mom…what the hell…?”

“What?  I’m not allowed to have a little drink on the day I bury my husband?  Who are you to sit in judgement of me?”

“I’m not judging you, Mom.  I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

Vannozza snorted.

“Surprised.  You and your sister both.  Hah!  That’s a laugh.  You two are _full_ of surprises.  You surprised your poor father into an early grave.”

Cesare stood up.

“Mom.  Stop it.”

“I will not.”  Vannozza gestured with her glass, whose contents threatened to slop over the rim. 

At that moment, Lucrezia entered the room with a tray of crudités and Cesare’s hot toddy.

“Lucrezia,” he said softly, his voice cold metal wrapped in velvet. “Please take Alexander upstairs, would you?  Mom and I need to talk.”

“That’s right, Lucrezia.  You take your little love child upstairs to the bedroom where your brother sleeps with you.  Right here under my roof.  You make me sick.

“Mother!” Lucrezia cried. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Go, Lucrezia.  Now.  Please.”  Cesare’s jaw clenched.

Snatching up the baby, Lucrezia rushed from the room.

Cesare turned to his mother.

“I understand you’re grieving, Mom. Lucrezia and I are too.  He was our father.  We’re all in this together.  Why are you lashing out at us like this?”

“Why?  Why?”  Vannozza skewed her face up into a contemptuous scowl. “Because you hated him.  Both of you.  All you did was take from him.  Take, take, take.  You treated him like he was your own personal ATM.  You don’t know what this ‘thing’ with Lucrezia did to him.  It broke his heart.  His baby girl, his little princess.  Pregnant.  Knocked up with a little bastard that you don’t even have the decency to get rid of.  And why?  Why wouldn’t you?  Because he’s _yours_ , you lousy son of a bitch.  You and your sister go away together and jump on each other like a pair of animals and don’t even have the sense to use birth control.  Then you invent this half-assed story about her being raped.  How dumb…how dumb do you think we were, Cesare?  We knew from the instant we looked at that child that he was yours.  Liars, the both of you.  Filthy liars!”

Vannozza dissolved into sobs, her mascara running in big rivulets down her cheeks.  She pointed a shaking finger at the bird cage hanging from its stand next to the mantelpiece.

“Did you have to bring that goddam parakeet home with you?  All day long, screeching.  ‘Cesare, Cesare, Cesare.’  Just like your sister calls out to you when you’re fucking her.”

 

The bespectacled man with salt and pepper hair opened the office door for Cesare and beckoned him in.

“Please sit down, Mr. Borgia, and let’s talk about why you’re here.”

“Thank you for seeing me, Doctor Young.  I’m very worried about my mother.  I know that, as her psychiatrist, you can’t discuss specifics with me, but I hope I may speak to you frankly of my observations.”

The doctor sat down in a tall leather chair behind his desk, across from Cesare.

“What concerns you, Mr. Borgia?”

“Oh, call me Cesare, please.  Well, as you know, my father recently died.  He was killed in a horrible car accident, and it’s just destroyed my mother.  She’s falling apart.  She had been having difficulty coping long before this.  I don’t know if she told you this, but my sister Lucrezia, who was only sixteen, was raped and became pregnant by her attacker.  Mom and Dad wanted her to have an abortion, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do that.  On moral grounds, you understand?  And now that the baby, Alexander, is born, she’s keeping him.  I’m helping her to raise my nephew.  Lucrezia and I were always close.  Of course, I’ll be there for her.  I know that this has been hard on my parents.  It’s been hard on my sister and me too.  Then with Dad’s death…well, Mom just seems to have lost it.  She’s begun drinking.  She never drank before, but now she’s drinking heavily.  And she seems paranoid.  Delusional.  She accuses me of sleeping with my sister.  Mom has even gone so far as to accuse me of being the father of the baby.  Naturally, I’m attentive to Alexander.  He’s my nephew.  And he’s an innocent child who couldn’t help how he got here.  My sister needs my support, so of course I give it. But Mom sees this attention and this concern as something else altogether.”  Cesare’s voice caught and he struggled to regain control of himself.  “I’m afraid for my mother, Doctor Young.  She’s even insisting that Lucrezia’s pet parakeet is talking to her, telling her things.  Secrets about us.  I don’t know where to turn.”

“I appreciate your coming to see me, Cesare.  I’ll question your mother very carefully.  It may be she needs to have her medication adjusted to help her through this.”

“I’m worried about her drinking in conjunction with her prescribed medication, Doctor.  Surely that can be dangerous.”

“Indeed it can.  But don’t worry.  I’ll take care of her.”

“Please don’t tell her I’ve been to see you.  She’s kind of paranoid about me and my sister already.  I don’t want to give her more reason to suspect that we’re against her, trying to undermine her.  We just want to help.  We’re so worried.”

 

The new antipsychotic medication that Vannozza was prescribed caused her such severe drowsiness that she slept most of the time or simply sat inert when awake.  With her psychiatrist’s help, Cesare was appointed by a court as her guardian during her incapacity.  He hired nurses to tend her, bathe her, feed her and keep her medicated.

 

_‘Rather like the old days, when troublesome women were dosed with laudanum to keep them quiet,’ he thought._


	11. Ragnarök

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein our tale comes to a conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Norse mythology, Ragnarök is a series of future events, including a great battle, resulting in the death of many gods (among them Odin, Thor, and Loki) and the occurrence of certain natural disasters, leading to the submersion of the world in water. Afterward, the world will resurface, the remaining gods will return and the world will be repopulated by two human survivors.

Cesare sipped his scalding black coffee and gazed out of the kitchen window at Lucrezia as she played with Alexander in the garden on a Sunday morning.  Even now, his breath caught in his throat when he watched her without her being aware that he did so.

The day was mild, with wisps of scudding clouds crossing the early morning sun, and a gentle breeze moving the tops of the trees.  Alexander was squealing with excitement as Lucrezia chased him through the shrubbery and over the lawn to the swing set.  The dogs barked exuberantly as they joined in the pursuit.

 It had been fifteen months since Rodrigo’s death.  His grieving family had picked up the pieces as best they could, Cesare assuming leadership at the investment bank which bore his father’s name, moving its headquarters to a new city.  He directed Vannozza’s attorney to sell her house and moved the family into a handsome Tudor-style estate on a sprawling six-acre lot in a semi-rural area where Lucrezia had a fence installed around the garden to create a safe play area to protect both Alexander, now an active toddler, and the four dogs she adopted from the local animal shelter. 

 Vannozza’s psychiatrist referred the family to a practitioner in their new city so that her treatment could continue.  For the past several weeks, the doctor, concerned at the degree of sedation which Vannozza’s medication had induced in her, had been lowering the dosage and bringing her around to greater mental clarity.  She still seemed dazed, but her cognition and responses had improved.

 “Good morning, Son.”  Vannozza entered the kitchen and sat at the scrubbed oak table.

“Good morning, Mother.”  Cesare turned at the sound of her greeting.  “Would you like coffee?  Or would you prefer tea?”

“Tea, please, if it’s already made.”

“It’s such a joy to see my beautiful mother feeling well enough to be up and about.  You even got dressed instead of wearing your nightgown.”

 While Cesare fetched a cup and saucer from the shelf, Vannozza’s attention was caught by the laughter coming from the garden.

“They’re having fun,” she said softly as she watched Alexander play Tag around the enormous cedar wood play set.  Cesare followed the direction of her gaze and smiled.  Vannozza tilted her head and regarded him studiously.

“Since the death of your father, Cesare, you have taken on the reins of the family admirably.”

“I hope you approve of my handling things with Dad’s business.”

“Oh, I do.  I do.  You’ve been amazing.  You’re a natural leader, with a competence and maturity level belying your youth.  Why, the very day you graduated from University, you just stepped right in and took over.”

“Thank you.  I hope I do honor to Dad’s legacy.”

“Assuredly.  And I continue to be astonished at how much you care about your sister and nephew.  Don’t you think it’s time Lucrezia went back to school?  She’s about to turn eighteen and hasn’t even finished her junior year of high school.”

“No.  I want her to concentrate on looking after Alexander.  He should be her primary concern.”

“But she needs to get her education.  Prepare for a career.”

“She has a career.  Taking care of Alexander.”

“But how will she support herself and her baby?”

“I’ll take care of them.”

“But, Cesare, eventually you’ll want to get married and have your own family.  Then what?”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

“I almost get the feeling that there’s no room in your life for anyone else.”

“There isn’t.  Not right now.”

“I admire your devotion, Cesare, but I have to wonder a bit why you sleep in Lucrezia’s bedroom.”

“Because Alexander wakes up with night terrors,” he responded guardedly. “I am the only one who can calm him down.  Since his room is right next to Lucrezia’s, I need to be able to go to him quickly.”

“Of course, I don’t go into Lucrezia’s inner sanctum, but from occasional glimpses I get when the door opens, it seems to me that there’s only one bed in the room.”

Cesare stiffened and replied tersely.  “What’s your point, Mother?”

“One would think your sister and nephew belong to you.”

“They _do_ belong to me.”

“Well, yes.  I can see how you would feel that way, living with them and acting as Alexander’s father figure.  He even calls you ‘Daddy.’”

Cesare poured the tea and brought the cup to where Vannozza was sitting.

“Let’s stop beating around the bush, Mother.  You know it’s no act.”

His voice was becoming brittle under her probing comments.  Suddenly their attention was drawn to the window through which they could see Lucrezia pushing Alexander on the swing and hear the toddler giggling with delight.  Cesare smiled at the sound and then heard Vannozza draw a shaky, ragged breath.  He turned, smile still on his face but with his eyes hardening into flint at her expression.

“Is it true?" Vannozza whispered. "Lucrezia’s version of what happened the night of the fraternity party?”

“It’s true.  She was drugged and insensible.”

“Does she know, Cesare?”

“Know what, Mother?” he asked evenly.

“That you were the one who drugged and raped her?”

Vannozza’s gaze bored directly into Cesare’s eyes.

“It wasn’t rape, Mother.”

“Then what was it?” Vannozza’s usually pleasant tone had turned into a harsh snarl. “You drugged your sister and had sex with her without her consent.  That’s rape. What in God’s name was going through your mind?”

Cesare looked back at her levelly, and although he swallowed before answering, he had an almost conversational tone in his voice. “That I had to be first. Her first. That guys were watching her, waiting to move in on her, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before she started dating.  Time was running out and it had to be me.  Had to.”

“Was that your intention when you took her to university with you?”  Vannozza’s voice was contemptuous. 

“Yes.”

“Was it difficult for you to get the knockout drug?”

“I filched it from the bureau drawer of one of the other frat brothers.  One of the guys who was known to use ‘pharmacological persuasion’ on his dates.”

“So you did drug her.”

“I only did that because I didn’t think she would want me, didn’t think that I could have her any other way.  I slipped it into a cola that I handed her.”

“How could you do such a thing to your sister?  Little more than a child.”

Cesare briefly closed his eyes, then replied to his mother, voice as cold as ice.

“As soon as the roofie took effect, I got her to my room and put her to bed.  I was as gentle as I could possibly be.  Mom, I swear I didn’t hurt her or bruise her.”  His voice lowered to a whisper.  “But the room was too dark for me to notice that she bled.  I would have taken care of her if I had seen it.  I went back downstairs and rejoined the party, got shitfaced drunk so I could collapse in someone else’s room and let Lucrezia sleep off the drug undisturbed. “

“Did you discourage her from going to the police?”

“Just the opposite.  I begged her to, knowing full well that was the last thing she’d want to do, so there’d be no investigation.  But I had no idea she’d be so upset over something that she didn’t remember.”

“You couldn’t have used a condom?”  Vannozza’s voice was knifelike now, and Cesare sighed.

“I never dreamed I’d get her pregnant.  I just knew I had to be her first.  And then, when her condition became obvious, I had to cover my tracks.  Dad was demanding I avenge Lucrezia’s rape, so I went through the motions, to make it look good.  It was so convenient to blame it on that schmuck Rafe, who had the misfortune to be a gentleman and get her a ginger ale in full view of everyone.”

Vannozza stood, her hands clenched into fists at her side, glaring at her son.

“Those horrible acts.  The savage assault on that poor, innocent young man.  The fraternity house fire that killed those people.” 

“You think I liked doing that?  Dad was all over me.  I had no choice.”

”You committed murder just to placate your father.”

“I tried to stall and dragged my feet as long as I could, hoping Dad would give up his demand for revenge.  But he didn’t.”

“Your opposition to Lucrezia having an abortion or giving the baby up for adoption are understandable now.”

“Was I wrong to want the child I had fathered?”

Vannozza’s voice became shrill.

“You were wrong to have fathered that child in the first place!”

“Well, it was a _fait accompli_. Nothing for it but to deal with it.”

“You haven’t told Lucrezia the truth?”

“No.  And neither will you.  Dad was going to.  Him and his goddam DNA test that he waved in my face, that proved Alexander’s parents to be brother and sister.  So he… died.”

Vannozza drew a gasping breath. “Your father?  You mean, you…”

“I punctured the brake line in his car.  Got him good and drunk on Scotch first.”

The blood drained from Vannozza’s face.

 “Your father.  You murdered your own father.”

“It was my own father’s own fault.  If only he hadn’t been so goddam pushy, he could be with us now, enjoying his family, and his grandchild.  I would not want to lose you too.  Lucrezia is going to need you, now more than ever.  You’ve been making so much progress.  I’d hate to see you slip back into your delusions, have to begin taking those terrible medications again that turned you into a zombie.”

Alexander’s peals of delighted laughter snagged Vannozza’s attention.  As if in a trance, she crossed over to look out the kitchen window.  Just as Lucrezia reached up to push the child even higher, the sun emerged from behind a cloud, illuminating and highlighting her tiny body through her filmy cotton dress.  Vannozza saw, unmistakably, the outline of a four-month belly.  Her  hand flew to her mouth.  A strangled cry died in her throat.

“See how well everything turned out, Mom?  See how happy Lucrezia is being a mother?  How much she loves Alexander?  How much she and I love each other?  You’re right about us, you know.  We have been lovers since shortly after we started living together,” Cesare continued, his voice cool and genial. “Turns out she wanted me as much as I wanted her.  I give it to her all the time now, Mother.  I give it to her good.  She got so accustomed to me making love to her without contraceptives while she was pregnant that she won’t hear of us using them now.”  Cesare steadily regarded Vannozza, and a vulpine darkness crossed his face, a gloating mask of triumph, chased away quickly by a beatific smile.

“Look at them, Mother.  All of them, mine.  Alexander is mine.  Lucrezia is mine, and the baby inside her is mine.  Nothing will ever take them away from me.”

He picked up his coffee mug and sauntered out into the garden, grabbing Lucrezia and pulling her close to his chest, devouring her lips with a hot, open-mouthed kiss as Vannozza watched in horror through the window.


	12. Apate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein is contained an epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A writer bloody well knows that when the Muse deigns to visit them, they had better say a humble 'thank you' and act upon the gift the Muse bestows. Thus this epilogue, which we offer unto you.
> 
> Apate in Greek mythology is the spirit of deceit, guile and deception.

Epilogue - Seven Years Later

Lucrezia gazed out of the kitchen window and sipped her cappuccino, breathing in the heady aroma of the rich coffee. She loved the new machine Cesare had bought for her. She smiled as she rubbed her belly and thought of how much he spoiled her.

She watched the children as they played in the garden. Her daughter Giovanna sat digging holes in the flower bed so she could plant a few blooms which they had raised together from last year’s seeds. Giovanna loved growing and nurturing things, just as Lucrezia had at that age. Still did, truth be told.

The twins Giofre and Sancia were on the swing set near the sandbox and Lucrezia could hear their squeals of excitement as they swung higher and higher. Seeing the two made her think of her mother, and she felt the familiar ache that Vannozza was no longer around to enjoy her grandchildren. The psychotic episode she had suffered after Lucrezia had excitedly shown her the sonogram of the twins at Giovanna’s second birthday party had resulted in her having to be confined to an assisted living facility that Cesare said could best meet her needs.

She rubbed her belly again as the baby kicked and fluttered, and she watched her youngest, Jamie, make sand pies under the supervision of their new nanny. Lucrezia had wanted to look after all the children herself, but as Cesare had pointed out when she told him about her latest pregnancy, six children in eight years took a toll on her body and energy levels. He was right, as he always was. She also thought she should agree to his suggestion of an oral contraceptive after this little one was born, a daughter they would call Claire. He always had her best interests at heart, and she could always have more children after a couple of years. Cesare loved it when she was pregnant, she knew, and she was still only 24.

She finished her coffee and then put the cup in the sink, watching Alexander as he strode over and knelt beside Giovanna to ask what she was doing. Even after all this time, Lucrezia was still amazed at how closely Alexander resembled Cesare, being tall for his age, and insisting on wearing his hair in soft curls to his shoulders. Lucrezia thought he looked, as Cesare did, like a Renaissance warrior.  
As Lucrezia absently watched the children’s conversation, she wondered what Cesare would say if she told him she hadn’t been as drugged as he thought the night Alexander had been conceived. She smiled, remembering that although she hadn’t been able to move, she had had a brief moment of clarity when she could feel him inside her, and she could smell the scent of his hair. Deep down in her mind, she recognised that she was safe, and before she blacked out again and came to covered in blood, which was the thing that had so frightened her, she knew she had heard him whisper ‘At last.’  
Lucrezia watched as Alexander gently put his arm round Giovanna’s shoulders. He hugged his sister into the curve of his body and then, bending his dark head, he kissed her softly on the lips.

Lucrezia’s heart skipped a beat.

**Author's Note:**

> Váli, in Norse mythology, is a son of Odin who was born for the sole purpose of avenging the killing of his sibling.


End file.
